Osler's Razor

I was watching the Baylor game on Saturday (Yay Bears!) and was noticing how the fans were dressed for the cold (it was about 25 degrees at game time).  Even leaving aside the half-naked people with their bodies painting (all of whom I am assuming are dead by now), there seemed to be a lot of folks who.... well, they wouldn't survive long in Minnesota.

For example, the guy above with the "I'm kinda cold" sign.  Dude, you are cold in large part because you are using a blanket open-style, like a cape.  That's not going to do much for you, given the two-foot gap in the front.  The sign isn't going to help much, either, unless you burn it (which is probably illegal in a stadium).

A little better were the people who looked like they were dressed to go cross-country skiing, with sleek tight-fitting things.  Those work great if you are, in fact, skiing, because they depend on the heat your body generates.  They aren't as good when you are doing something sedentary, like sitting to watch a football game (the Texas fans seemed especially, uh, sedentary).

Here is what Minnesotans do if they are going to a December football game (or, more likely, ice-fishing):

1)  Layering is important, but wear the right layers.  Your base layer should not be a t-shirt, or anything else made of cotton, because that will absorb water and hold that cold sweat right next to your body.  That's bad for you, and really bad for whoever is washing your clothes.  Your base layer (including socks) should be a non-cotton wicking material like silk or dri-fit.

2)  If you are going to be sitting, you need a puffy jacket.  Many Minnesotans have two puffy jackets filled with down or synthetic down.  Little puffy is for active events or temps above 20 or so.  Big puffy is for cold, sedentary activities.  You look like a blueberry, but you are a warm blueberry.

3)  Wear a hat!  Lots of heat comes off your head.  Yes, it will give you hat-head, but at least you will continue to have a head.

4)  Something to cover your neck and face, like a scarf or neck gator, is a great thing.

5)  On your hands, mittens are better than gloves.  Cotton will not cut it-- and if you are going to be throwing snowballs, make sure there is a waterproof outer layer.

6)  Finally, don't ask RRL for advice.  He was at the game in a Led Zepplin II t-shirt, I hear.  Instead, ask Woody for advice.  He is from Milwaukee, and still alive, so he must be doing something right.