Tuesday, May 04, 2010

 

A new and confusing message from Ted Nugent

I have a complex relationship with Ted Nugent. We appear to be the only two people in Waco who came here from Detroit (and we arrived at about the same time). I have no problem with his obsession with hunting-- I have enjoyed it myself. His political views are different than mine, but so are those of many of my closest friends. I even bought his ski hat, squirt gun, and end table at his garage sale.

On Saturday, though, I saw this bumper sticker on the back of some earthmoving equipment in Cameron Park, containing a missive from Terrible Ted:



First of all, I have my own issues with the French, as long-time Razorites know-- they once tried to take over the blog (and post drivel about Spongebob, Formula 1, and Texas A & M).

Still... what is it that you can't do in France? Carry a spear? Have a bad haircut? Please advise.

Comments:
At least you can buy Nuge for Pres. stickers (only the 5 pack b/c the 3 pack is sold out?) in euros.
 
You can't hunt in France.
 
My step-grandfather, who was a Native American, once gave me some inspiring words on the subject of hunting.

One day, as he and I trudged through our local sand dunes looking for Native American artifacts, I asked him why the men in our family did not go hunting. Most of my friends did, and I confessed I was curious.

"Lane," he responded gravely, "my people have lived on this land for thousands of years. We used to hunt the buffalo and mule deer with flint-tipped arrows and spears. Now, when you can take a primitive weapon, go out without the benefit of camouflage and laser-guided gun sights, then you can hunt. But not before."

So, if Ted really does dress up in loincloths and take a spear and nothing more to go hunting, well, more power to him. But if he just walks through the underbrush before shooting something with a rifle, well... cool, but that ain't hunting, as my grandfather would've said it.
 
Parlay your modest musical fame into a career where you get paid by country-fried rubes to be an incoherent political whackjob with no discernable outcomes? I think that's frowned upon in France.
 
Um, yeah you can hunt in France. And own a gun. Must the ridiculous hat.
 
Maybe the guy on the bumper sticker is pointing his spear at an invading German. In that case, the bumper sticker is correct, you cannot defend yourself from an invading German in France.
 
Maybe you can't put bumper stickers on your car in France? Is the stick figure a religious figure? Maybe you can't display religious symbols on your car in France? They are much more vigilant about the separation of church and state than we are . . .

On a somewhat tangential note, your post reminds me of one of my favorite songs, "Born to Die in France" by Hayseed Dixie. I think it talks about stuff you can and can't do in France . . .

I think Nuge just wants people to visit his website. I'm going to.
 
RRL, while defending onesself from invading Germans is frowned upon, it is not technically illegal under the Uniform Frenchman's Code. However, I have contacted my French comrades at Lexois-Nexois, and they assure me tat there has never been a discernable case of a Frenchman ever fighting a German recorded, at least not since records were first kept i 1066 when the last violent Frenchman departed for the shores of England.
 
Pole Vaulting Everyone knows you cannot pole vault in France.
 
Why is "Pole Vaulting Everyone" capitalized?
 
Ted has bigger fish to fry than the French... look at: http://www.tednugent.com/Store/Product.aspx?id=CA000191
 
I think that there has to be some law in France that one cannot throw a javelin blindfolded. Smart French.
 
You can't be Ted Nugent in France.
 
OMG I am still laughing over "Lexois-Nexois."
 
I love the French, the most courteous people in the world. Who else would plant all of those trees both sides of the Champs-Elys'es so that invading German armies wouldn't get sun-burned?
Bob

Je m'baladais sur l'avenue le coeur ouvert � l'inconnu
J'avais envie de dire bonjour � n'importe qui
N'importe qui et ce fut toi, je t'ai dit n'importe quoi
Il suffisait de te parler, pour t'apprivoiser

Aux Champs-Elys�es, aux Champs-Elys�es
Au soleil, sous la pluie, � midi ou � minuit
Il y a tout ce que vous voulez aux Champs-Elys�es

Tu m'as dit "J'ai rendez-vous dans un sous-sol avec des fous
Qui vivent la guitare � la main, du soir au matin"
Alors je t'ai accompagn�e, on a chant�, on a dans�
Et l'on n'a m�me pas pens� � s'embrasser

Hier soir deux inconnus et ce matin sur l'avenue
Deux amoureux tout �tourdis par la longue nuit
Et de l'�toile � la Concorde, un orchestre � mille cordes
Tous les oiseaux du point du jour chantent l'amour
 
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