Friday, December 01, 2006


Hey Everybody! C'Mon! It's Haiku Friday!

It's the most wonderful time of the week: Haiku Friday! Remember, the recipe is 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables. And, you bloggers, feel free to cross-blog-- slap your haiku here as well as in your own space. The prize is yet another copy of the musical stylings of William Hung and others for the holidays.

Here is mine:

I lost in foosball
To this hairy Contracts guy
With a wicked spin.

Bang! The ball is gone
Now I'm looking around, stuck
In a Bramblebush.

In English:

A foosball haiku,
I have lost all my quarters,
Crying in my beer.

In Spanish:

Un fúsbol haiku,
No me quedan monedas,
Lloro cerveza.
Waco may be hell,
Yesterday was really cold,
A cold day in hell.
Unlucky in love
No arms, square feet, painted face
Poor foosball player
AAAAH the Bramblebush! The Bramblebush!

That has now completely shattered my haiku-mojo, it's going to be awhile until I can get it back.
Last night was scary
Things observed near a friend's house
Waco: home sweet home

Neighbors dealing speed
To guys in a "pimped" Crown Vic
Osler's next clients?

As I left for home
By chance I saw the buyer
And barked a tough "Yo!"

He looked away quick
Stepping faster towards the stairs
Pants "sag" around knees

Clutching his treasure
He ambled down the staircase
Headlights were still on

I called my friend back
"Who the hell are your neighbors?"
"I have no idea...

"...but they were cleaning
Their entire house yesterday
With ammonia."

We know what that means
Recipes learned in Crim. Prac.
Stokes would be so proud
Okay, I'm better now.

December birthday
Always lumped in with Christmas
Very poor timing.

U-grads start finals
Between semesters: a month
Those lucky bastards.

But, more parking now
And fewer crazy drivers
At least in theory.
In the office today
Morning. Ding. Lunch. Ding. Five. Ding.
Where’re my food pellets?
Careful, don’t offend.
No one fails, just try real hard.
And don’t use red pen.

The judge and your boss,
clicker training they will use,
And I've got this bridge ....
Where have they all gone?
Dying breed pinball wizards
Dad must be the last
This week I've decided to combine two of my passions: haiku and celebrity gossip. Just like on Iron Chef, prepare for an explosion of lack of taste!

Dakota Fanning.
Her eyes and braces scare me.
Child of the corn.

L. Lo. cannot write.
P.R. man blames Blackberry.
Poor Robert Altman.

Yeah Tony Parker!
But will you make Eva a
Desperate Housewife?

Hilary Duff dumped.
Joel Madden – Hello? McFly!
Hilary, call me.

Damn drunken midget.
Screwing up day time talk shows.
Oh! Tis Devito.
Poets be on guard!
Holidays Hung - scary sounds
I have that CD

DC needs a freeze
To kill flowers and blossoms
Allergies are bad
the perfect breakfast
crow at oral argument
pray they don't publish

I love Christmas time
Two week break approaches fast
Alas, must study

"I played pro foosball
Before law school and after
Roadie for Zepplin."
Peaches and the Herms.
There will be some nudity.
On my part or hers?

I figured it out!
Lindly, Lindley, tomato...
Butchered it, Grandpa.

Say, Oh my good-nis!
What, What the junk, what the junk?
Said, Oh my gooood-nis.

Were I more Catholic,
Running the Pope's P.R. move:
I would Turk-gasm.
Grade curves going up--
Did someone listen to us?
Anyways, Woo-hoo!
Victoria's bras
Turning unkempt, dirty boys
Into fashion fans
tip for x-mas booze:
drink coffee with some Bailey's
when Clarence gets wings
Invite to beer pong!
Tournament at Swanburg's place
Haven't played in years
Foosball challengers
Lie in a deepening pool
Of blood and urine.
Haiku, ice and snow,
important, but did Swanburg
Pick up his CD?
Swanburg didn't show
No doubt hiding from foosball
Bates is nearby.
I got distracted
I planned on going at four;
Monday it will be.
I hear a loud thud
Slick floors make it hard to stop
Sometimes kittens slide
foosball mastermind
controls plastic men spin toy
sweet smell of power
I hate my new job.
Have only worked there four hours.
Nerds with binary clocks.

How will I survive?
Risk Management not that fun.
Cannot stay awake.

See how this week goes.
Will try to make it more fun.
If that's possible.
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