Osler's Razor

I'm kind of tired of everyone else creating the crisis of the week and just having to respond to it, so I'm going to make up one for this week:

Did you hear what happened in Bankruptcy yesterday? Apparently, Prof. Bankruptcy showed up to teach wearing a sopping-wet sweatshirt, spandex biking shorts, and an odd array of other clothes all covered with an elegant shawl, while carrying the severed head of a Baylor Law applicant. From what I understand, what happened started out down by the river. Every morning, Prof. ADR, Prof. Bankruptcy, and Swanburg go fishing for catfish from that old dock down by the river there while downing a case of Bud Lite. Anyways, Prof. ADR catches a real lunker and it runs for the bottom. Just then, two undergrads in a sailboat come by, somewhat out of control, and cut across Prof. ADR's line. This enrages Prof. Bankruptcy, who leaps into the river, jumps into the boat, and knocks out both occupants with her kendo sword (the "shinai"). Not content with this revenge, she dives to the bottom of the river and strips their lifeless bodies of clothes and jewelry, all of which she puts on.

Fortunately, no one saw the whole debacle except one visiting prospective student from Sam Houston State, whom Prof. Bankruptcy dispatched quickly with her sword, saving his severed head as a prize and warning to all.