Thursday, September 14, 2006

 

Meet The Faculty! Pt. 2

In the second part of our “Meet the Faculty” feature, today the spotlight shines brightly on Professor Kristin Schroeder Simpson!

Professor Simpson teaches in Baylor’s LARC (Legal and Religious Correspondence) program, which is required for all first year students. Together with Prof. Rory Ryan, Prof. Simpson provides the students with all the skills they need to succeed in the Nebraska legal community. Her legal scholarship focuses on Writs of Mandamus and notes to pastors who have impregnated one’s daughter.

Prof. Simpson received her undergraduate degree from Texas Christian University, where she received many awards, including third place overall in the NASCAR Craftsman Truck series. She continued her education at Southern Methodist University’s Dedman School of Law, where she graduated at the top of her class. During law school, her student article “Preacher, You Done Knocked Up My Daughter!” was published by the Cornhusker Family Law Journal and voted “Most Useful Article” for that publication in 2004.

After law school, Prof. Simpson traveled to Japan where she studied Kendo, the Japanese “Way of the Sword” practiced by samurai for centuries. After three years of study, she defeated her master in battle and was crowned with a tiara of thorns in an elaborate ceremony atop Mount Fuji. She still practices her Kendo skills daily, and uses them to great advantage. During her interview at Baylor Law, Prof. Simpson not only presented a lecture on the topic of “The writ of mandamus as a tool of the civil defendant in state courts” but knocked Prof. Serr cold with her Kendo sword (the “shinai”) when one of his several questions ran long.

Upon completion of her studies in Japan, Prof. Simpson returned to her native Nebraska, where she worked as an associate at the law firm of Lembolte Ludtke, LLC. While at Lembolte Ludtke, Prof. Simpson served in a pro bono capacity as the Governor of Nebraska, a position which rotates among the relatively few citizens of that state according to alphabetical order.

As required by Nebraska law, Prof. Simpson is married to her high-school prom date. They live in a sod hut with their son, Bart (8).

CORRECTION: Apparently, there were a few things about my description of Prof. Simpson that were not completely "accurate." I would like to correct those. First of all, the crown she wore for the ceremony atop Mt. Fuji was made of lotus stems and the teeth of her defeated opponents, not thorns. Second, her term as Governor of Nebraska was not technically pro bono, as it was required as part of court-ordered community service. Finally, her son is not named "Bart." His name is Orenthal James. I apologize for the errors.

Comments:
Hilarious!
 
Since we're supposed to learn from our faculty, is knocking Serr out going to be an allowable technique in moot court now?
 
RG--

Yes! That is allowable, and as I understand it, you may get points added to your team score if you use proper technique (as Prof. Schroeder Simpson did).
 
What is it with all in the inbreeding? With the exception of his holiness Prof. Osler, it seems like most of the profs went to Baylor. That can't be the way to a well-rounded and diverse faculty, can it? Or is that one of the new Baylor rules, like you can't be a non-Christian (or a Mormon)?
 
Anon--

Not only did my last two faculty profiles (Simpson and Underwood) feature two non-Baylor grads (SMU and Ohio State), but two members of groups that are traditionally under-represented in law teaching in this country (samurai and East German cyborg killing machines). Clearly, diversity is on the march at Baylor!
 
Sitting in her class was certainly a religious experience. I spent 95% of the time praying she wouldn’t call on me.

And you failed to mention she’s been voted Nebraska’s Best Dressed 4 years running.
 
you forgot one of her more important achievements: bringing the average hotness level of the bls faculty up by 3 notches, at least.
 
Don't forget Prof. Auld.
 
hehe, Bart Simpson. classic
 
The O.J. reference. . .awesome.
 
RIP
 
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