Tuesday, October 17, 2006

 

It's the Razor Voting Guide!


A lot of my friends (such as the The Bosque Boys) have provided their readers with helpful voting guides to the upcoming elections. Because of my own background as a voter, I will do the same over the next few weeks, making recommendations for certain offices of note. Today, two candidates are highlighted and recommended:

1) For Vice-President of the United States: Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear

After six years of depressing ruminations from Vice-President Dick Cheney, it’s time we have a vice-president who is willing to laugh a little. Though there have been rumors that Snuggles died after being caught in a bear trap and gnawing off his own little leg, tried to choke a toddler with his cute yellow pom-pom, and that he was beaten to death by an enraged housewife, these rumors have proven false or exaggerated. Snuggles epitomizes what would be a bright new day in Washington.

2) For U.S. Congress: Ched Edwards
Having served as Mayor for several years before becoming our Congressman, Ched has stood for firm principles: All-beef patties, real cheddar cheese, and a new "get-tough" attitude towards hamburglery. Some thought he did not have a chance after redistricting; others scoffed because he has a cheeseburger for a head, or because he had befriended a hamburger clown. Nonetheless, he has steadfastly fought for our V.A. Hospital and for the principles embodied in the First Amendment. Because of his record of performance and his support for our communities (and for giving one of the better Baylor Law commencement addresses in recent memory), the Razor heartily endorses Ched Edwards.


Comments:
I am sure the third one is to come, yes? Perhaps cookie monster as secretary of state?
 
I think, Brian, that Cookie Monster was the Head of FEMA for a while already, until that whole Katrina incident.
 
FYI: The Cook Political Report has "Ched" likely to win--but cautions against a potential anti-cheese backlash this cycle.

As for Snuggles, it reminds me of the old story of the two bears: one was locked in a trunk and one was elected VP; neither was ever heard from again.
 
Farmer--

As I understand it, the French Fry Guys were sent back to France, and that undercut a significant part of Ched's support.
 
The third link in Snuggles' endorsement took me to a site offering to find me a real sex partner in Alexandria. Is Snuggles a pimp?
 
IP--

What? It is supposed to be a video of Snuggles in a death match with a housewife. Shoot-- Snuggles may be a pimp, just like the N.E. Louisiana State mascot.
 
Go Snuggles! He's the only candidate capable of flirting with my Puffalump. *blushes*
 
I think the individual who thought up how to serve Lindsay Lohan at George Clooney's award ceremony needs to a write in candidate where ever valid.

Makes me even consider dropping out of law school to live the glamorous life of a Hollywood Process Server. I can see it now... "Lee Carver: Server to the Stars."

Link to story and amusing photo:

http://buzzfoto.com/lindsay-lohan/lindsay-lohan-gets-a-supoena-exclusive-photo.html
 
Let's make that a little bit more forum friendly...

Lindsay Gets Served
 
Wow, Lindsay's GIGANTIC fake eyelashes are almost as scary as Dick Cheney!
 
Carver--

Did you know I started my law career as a process server in Detroit? It's true. It was, uh, not glamorous, unless "living in fear of armed auto workers whom you have to sneak up on" counts as glamorous.
 
did you have a ponytail then? WJC says all process servers and bike messengers have ponytails...
 
No ponytail, but if I did it would have neatened up my hair...

Also, sorry about the bad pictures on the video link. I didn't realize it would do that. I fixed it.
 
Professor Osler:

I do recall that story of you being a process server and why you decided to go to law school. I can't imagine being a process server in Hollywood is any better than Detroit. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of blue-collar workers like Naomi Campbell armed with her cell or Russell Crowe and the blunt end of a rotary.

However, I figured if anyone could appreciate the "news" story, it would be you.
 
I know a process server here in the big W who has a ponytail and a bike---and an affinity for extra hot vanilla lattes from starbucks...who knew
 
SBA elections are comming up. You gonna have reccomendations for those elections too?
 
Taco-- That is an excellent idea...
 
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