Osler's Razor

Out front of Baylor Law School sits a giant greenish bear. Apparently, its official name is "Spirit Walker," though it goes by many, many names. Some love it (especially small children) and others can't stand it; such is the nature of public art.

There is always room for improvement, though, and I have some specific ideas to make Spirit Walker a better experience for law school visitors:

1) As a kid, my friend Evan Frakes had a stuffed "Smokey the Bear" with a string in the back. When you pulled the string, Smokey warned you "don't start forest fires" and "never play with matches." After a while, the tape wore down and Smokey became our favorite toy because when you pulled the string he told us to "Start forest fires" and "play with matches." Since then, I have wanted to add voices to most inanimate objects. It would be easy to put a motion sensor on Spirit Walker with a tape loop of phrases like "The best belong at Baylor!" and "Baylor Law-- come for the academics, stay for the food!" and "How about a hug?" and "Stay back-- I have a gun!"

2) Part of Waco's distinctive culture seems to be that small children are rewarded for the slightest interest in anything with handfulls of candy. I think Spirit Walker should either shoot NECCO wafers at random out of his paws or drop Malted Milk Balls behind himself.

3) Movement of some kind would be nice. He could either move his hips almost imperceptibly when people approach, or awkwardly give visitors a sideways one-armed hug, just like a real professor.

4) We could repaint the Bear and make him our mascot. Personally, though, I think the Baylor Law Mascot really ought to be the "Panda With A Flamethrower," pictured below. He would mess up other mascots, including Vic the Demon Pimp.