Friday, July 06, 2007


Haiku tells me it's Friday...

Hi! My name's Mark, and I'm a Pisces! Or something like that. Today, though, I'm all about the Haiku. Here are this week's themes:

1) People named "Scooter"
2) The disturbing bald cat at Tyd's place of work
3) Transformers destroy Detroit
4) Dinner that makes you feel guilty
5) Prof. Bates and the Order of the Phoenix
6) The Beach
7) America's Worst Barbecue Item
8) Pong
9) 4th of July
10) Pork products

Here's my entry:

Did you all enjoy
The squirrels I barbecued?
Kinda chewy, huh?

Now, you go. The pattern is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, then 5 again.

Haiku on Thursday
Makes me feel strange; off kilter
Syllable thoughts early
Tuesday: Barbecue
Carrots, Pitas, cheese Fondue
Friday, I'm in Love
Try a "Bill" burger
Like Bush, just a heart attack
from Presidency
Slowly forth and back
blip,blip...Strange, once people said
That's entertainment

Scooter becomes a Skater
Though no big surprise
Believe it or not
All those fireworks were for me
4th of July babe

Bald cat at my job
says, I'm not just President
Also a Member.

Get it? Hair Club for
cats. I'm sleepy. 95
degrees here today.

For Once I have not
much to write. But ts early.
I hate my tonsils.
I sit on the beach
And notice many people
In too-small swimsuits
I loved you, Pong!
Tennis, hockey, wobbly dot
Only sold at Sears
My guilty dinners:
US-style, beer and popcorn;
Swiss-sytle, cheese/wine/bread.
Bacon, I love you!
Jump on my Egg McMuffin
Snuggle up to the egg.
Never knew Scooter
Met a guy they called "Bootie"
Thought it was stupid
I hate carrot cake
A bastardization of
Bunny's favorite food.

I love Taco Hell,
but gringo quesadillas
often bring the squirts.
Hi, my name's Coco!
I'm a Junior! At Baylor.
And I love grilled cat.
Please call a surgeon
So they can crack my ribs and
roast my beating heart...
Beer and lame popcorn?
What a shame! I like beer with
Rotting bovine brains.
What am I saying?
I like beer with everything
because I'm Coco.
Pork Products

At Satriale's
the latest hit gabagool-
Soprano fingers
Swimming Atlantic,
Salt water gets in my nose,
Scooter can stuff it.
Rich people get off,
The poor people go to jail,
Osler gets upset.

RRL plays the
Devils advocate. Bloggers
Unite to kill him.

Perjury ten years big deal. Now its
A very big deal.
I've a coworker
Six foot three, two-forty pounds
We call him Scooter
Tranformers too late
Detroit already destroyed
By Coleman A. Young

By suburban sprawl
Failed economy
By Devil's night fires
All of the Above
Bush, Clinton, Libby
Sons, Daughters of privilege
Peas in the same pod
Not really Mayor?
McDonaldland actually
Facist police state
Fourth of July, lunch
I remember New Orleans
My Jambalaya.

Justice a beacon,
a harsh light to unsung few,
darkened by pardon.

And a happy one...

Some Wizards blend well
With Muggles you can't discern
But Bates hardly tries.
America's worst BBQ item:

tastes like steak she lies
no sauce can fix this fungi
portobello shroom

- Krint
scooter's cat took bates
transformed detroit into pong
and put pork on beach
Ginger, it's so true,
Bates is the master of the
Contract-iatis curse
Why are they called "Briefs?"
They are probably really
long. Anything but brief.

This just in: Habib
cannot do the tile in my
new house. Against rules.

BUT maybe I can
hire him as a consultant.
Or something like that.

I must help Bill's Par-
ents find a new car. Their green
Buick bit the dust.

Heard today at work:
"WHY did you put make-up on
Nate? Put the cat down."
I. Scooter Libby
Is this a good idea?
"Sure," said Rove, cackling.
Saturday Haiku?
New topic please. Move on from
the lion cut cat
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