Thursday, April 16, 2026
PMT: No One Asked, Melania
There were a lot of strange things going on in the past week-- the "Trump as Jesus" post, the idea that blockading the Strait of Hormuz would promote trade, pretty much everything J.D. Vance did, even while asleep-- but the oddest might have been the press conference held by First Lady Melania Trump.
Though no one seemed to be saying much at all about her (she hasn't exactly been top-of-mind), she took to the airwaves to insist vigorously that she never had a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. The statement mostly seemed to make people think that she must have had a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, of course.
Even Fox News, usually ready to explain away any bonkers thing coming out of the White House, said that this one was "out of left field." When asked, Melania's spokesperson "explained" that "The lies must stop!"
Which made things even stranger, because no one had really been talking about her, at least until that press conference. Now we all wanted to hear more about those lies!
Her husband-- who has been urging people to move on from the Epstein files-- seemed as baffled as everyone else.
What's that all about?
