Wednesday, January 29, 2025
Just type "resign"...
I have a number of friends and former students who are federal employees, especially at the Department of Justice. And.... these are some weird times for them.
The latest twist was an email sent out yesterday to 2 million federal employees offering them a weird buyout and establishing... well, a lot of stuff. It was titled "Fork in the Road."
Here are some to the highlights:
-- The "substantial majority" of federal employees will have to work in the office five days a week AND their office space is going to undergo "meaningful consolidations and divestitures." So, the plan is to have many more people come back to fewer office spaces. Which sounds pretty messy, huh?
-- Despite the horrific work conditions created by point one above and static pay, the goal is to have the workforce be comprised of "the best America has to offer." Because, you know, people who are at the top of their field are secretly looking for a pay cut and a ticket to the musical-chairs offices described above.
-- the great majority of federal agencies will be downsized.
-- AND, finally, if for some reason you think what is described above is for you, one thing to look forward to is the opportunity to be "subject to enhanced standards of suitability." Which means, um, something.
The buyout terms are fascinating: you can stay on until September and work from home instead of going in to the building to fight for an office. To take them up on this, the email instructs employees to respond to the email, type "resign" in the subject line, and hit "send."
All in all, interesting times, huh?
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"Interesting times" only if you define "interesting" as the same as "horrible": "marked by or arousing painful and intense fear, dread, dismay, or aversion"
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