Tuesday, April 14, 2020
The News is getting closer to The Onion everyday
So... Florida governor Ron DeSantis (pictured here one-gloving it for some reason) has declared professional wrestling an "essential business." Which really does sound like a headline from the Onion.
I wish that wasn't the weirdest news of the day, but it's not. That would be the fact that the president of the United States said this out loud at a press conference, while discussing the plans some governors are making about COVID-19 and re-opening the economy: “The authority of the president of the United States, having to do with the subject we’re talking about, is total,” Trump said, adding, “The president of the United States calls the shots.”
That's... troubling. I'm no constitutional scholar-- well, actually I kind of am a constitutional scholar-- but that's not the way things are supposed to work.
At any rate, I'm feeling down. I spent yesterday writing motions to get out of prison because of COVID-19 that make total sense-- these are people who committed non-violent crimes in the 1990's, suffering from conditions that make them particularly vulnerable-- but have little chance of succeeding. But still, I have to try. There is a lot at stake.
To cheer us all up, let's watch this video of my favorite essential worker, "The Genius." His trademark wrestling move was clobbering people with his metal Harvard diploma. Which, as I understand it, is just one of those things Harvard people do (also note the introduction, featuring future Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura):
Watching this, it is hard not to miss the fact that Lanny Poffo (Macho Man Randy Savage's brother, who plays The Genius) is trying to egg on the crowd by being stereotypically effeminate. In that way, it's pretty homophobic. Of c0urse, if that is the intent, the clear implication is that gay men are really smart and can defeat Hulk Hogan in a fight, so there's that. WWE gets confusing if you think about it too hard. Of course, that might explain the thoughts of Gov. Ron DeSantis.
