Sunday, January 21, 2018
Sunday Reflection: Conflict and Meaning
We all seek meaning in our lives. We want what we do to matter, and to see meaning in the things that happen around us. It is often the best instinct that we have, the one that moves us to improve our world, to shake things up, and to ditch complacency.
So often, though, the easy way to find meaning is through conflict. War, of course, is the ultimate this way. That marks the darkness that this often-good instinct can draw us towards.
What of meaning that happens without conflict, even unseen? The love of a parent, of a sibling, of a child, of a dear friend, of a stranger-- often, that is the deepest meaning we have. And when it is done best, when it is truly healing and good and true, that is when no one save the recipient knows what has happened.
I have known people-- and you have too-- who constantly seem to seek out conflict. They create drama where there is none, pick fights where there is no disagreement, question motivations, and always have a criticism. Shoot-- there have been sad moments, I think, when I have been that person. What was I seeking in those sad days? I suspect, really, I wanted meaning. I wanted what I did, and what was around me to matter.
I still want what I do to matter, but realize how wrong that path is for myself and those around me. I am better to forgive towards meaning, to love towards meaning, to encourage towards meaning. Sometimes, yes, meaning comes through an honest critique and even a righteous anger. But, that cannot be the center of a healthy soul for long; it should only be part of a larger picture that we paint of ourselves.
We see Jesus do that in the Gospels. He has moments of critique and righteous anger, but mostly it is something else. It is meaning in gentleness; healing, teaching, contemplating. I am not anything like that, but hope that I am moving in that direction. It's a slow walk in a culture that values the brash and the loud, the rich and the flamboyant. But were we promised anything else than a difficult path?
