Thursday, January 19, 2017


Political Mayhem Thursday: The Inauguration

Tomorrow is the day-- one that many people did not see coming-- of the inauguration of Donald Trump as President.

He will give an inaugural address, there will be a parade. According to his tweet, "people are pouring into Washington in record numbers." Some of them, of course, might be coming for Saturday's protests, but no doubt a lot of people will be there for the new President and this moment in our national democratic cycle.

What should the new President say in his inaugural address?

I confess. I am a KGB agent.
"th, th, tha, that's all folks! I resign!
I recommend you invest heavily in BOURBON. A drunken stupor will allow you to survive my next four years.
I would like to make the Inaugural Address into a drinking game; yes I know - very wrong. Key words: Great, Huge, Bigly. Open to more word suggestions.
I think it's very telling that the guy who ran his entire campaign on his ability to make and close deals couldn't even book a Bruce Springsteen cover band for his own inauguration.
Oh yeah, the B-Street Band... they are pretty picky.
Fellow Americans and beloved supporters, you don't know it yet but your world is about to be upended. Bigly! BTW that ambulette grandpa takes to dialysis?! Yeah...You”ll pay for it!! What did you think the fifty bucks you'll get every paycheck in tax cuts was for? What! Not enough? Oh, stop whining like a loser if you want to be on the side that makes America Great Again!
You know all those things I said about building a wall, banning Muslims and locking up my opponent?
Never gonna happen! Never was.
Thanks, suckers!

Something like this would be wonderful:

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.
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