Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Scene 17, in which I can't make a drink
There is this one moment that I re-live over and over. I'll be at some event, and people are ordering drinks. They are confident and sophisticated, and look over their shoulder as they say something like "I'll have a Rocky Top, and keep it light on the fizz." The bartender will nod knowingly, and get to work.
I never have any idea what they are talking about, and when it comes to my turn, I'll reach for a beer or point at what someone else is having. It's not that I don't drink mixed drinks; I just am not very good at it, and don't do it often. I suppose it seemed like somewhere in life people learn how to do that, and I was off doing something else. In whole, that might have been a good thing.
Does anyone else have this challenge?
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I used to have the same issue. Now, I go with vodka soda with a lime. Perfect for those situations. Light in flavor, light colored (in case you spill a little), and classy enough to look like you know what you are doing without having to make a complicated order.
Just go for a top shelf vodka, and make sure they use soda water, not a "soda" like 7-up or Coke.
Just go for a top shelf vodka, and make sure they use soda water, not a "soda" like 7-up or Coke.
A long time ago I must have decided mixed drinks were too much trouble and decided to stick with beer and wine. Except for a rare margarita or gin & tonic. Those are easy to say.
I quit drinking the hard stuff 30 years ago, and beer about 10. Now it is a glass of Merlot, Shiraz or Malbec, usually sitting on the sofa at home or at the dining table. Avoids a lot of problems. If at a "cocktail" party, I order a sea breeze, without the wind -- basically a glass of grapefruit juice.
# posted by 
: 6:16 AM
: 6:16 AM
I enjoy a good Manhattan every now and then during the winter months. Mostly we drink wine. I have developed allergies to very "hoppy" beer so I avoid most beer. In the summer I enjoy a gin and tonic or margarita. I never order anything too complicated although a French 75 become a favorite last summer.
My Advice: Start ordering an Old Fashioned.
My Reasons:
1. It is the ultimate man's man drink embodied by the ultimate man's man TV series Mad Men.
2. It is a "whiskey drink," which is number one in the hierarchy of drinks as set forth by the great anthem of overcoming adversity by CHUMBAWAMBA:
He drinks a whiskey drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times
We get knocked down
But we get up again
You're never gonna keep us down
3. Once you get over the revulsion of drinking hard liquor and develop a taste for it, an Old Fashioned is a truly sweet and soothing experience.
My Reasons:
1. It is the ultimate man's man drink embodied by the ultimate man's man TV series Mad Men.
2. It is a "whiskey drink," which is number one in the hierarchy of drinks as set forth by the great anthem of overcoming adversity by CHUMBAWAMBA:
He drinks a whiskey drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times
We get knocked down
But we get up again
You're never gonna keep us down
3. Once you get over the revulsion of drinking hard liquor and develop a taste for it, an Old Fashioned is a truly sweet and soothing experience.
Mark, I can identify with your mixed drink awkwardness. My strategy is to limit myself to sub joints and pizzerias … where, at best, your choices are limited to cheap beer and cheap wine. Works.
Although … recently I had dinner at a bar in a nice restaurant with two guy friends. We were seated shoulder to shoulder next to where the bartenders were mixing all kinds of esoteric drinks. My ears are still ringing from the three ring circus of blenders crushing ice and churning out fancy drinks. Drinks, save for an occasional margarita, I would never imagine ordering. Being three guys at a bar, the bartenders kept offering us samples of the leftovers. Being guys, we accepted. This is a cautionary tale.
Although … recently I had dinner at a bar in a nice restaurant with two guy friends. We were seated shoulder to shoulder next to where the bartenders were mixing all kinds of esoteric drinks. My ears are still ringing from the three ring circus of blenders crushing ice and churning out fancy drinks. Drinks, save for an occasional margarita, I would never imagine ordering. Being three guys at a bar, the bartenders kept offering us samples of the leftovers. Being guys, we accepted. This is a cautionary tale.
# posted by : 1:21 PM
: 1:21 PM
I only buy fancy drinks when the ingredients are listed on the menu. And I almost never order one when I am driving. But I do like a good single malt scotch or nice bourbon on occasion.
Of course, you can't go wrong with John Lee Hooker's advice (or George Thorogood's) to have One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer.
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