Friday, June 05, 2015

 

Haiku Friday: The Candidates!

I am really enjoying the election roll-out, as presidential candidates announce their campaigns. This week, Rick Perry, pictured here, announced that he is in for another go-round. Is it just me, or has he gotten a lot smarter since he started wearing those thick glasses?

Anyways, here are the candidates (or at least some of them):

John Kasich
Rick Perry
Hillary Clinton
"Nature Boy" Ric Flair
Rand Paul
Mike Huckabee
Tonya Harding
Lincoln Chafee
Ted Cruz
Jeb Bush (declaring mid-month)
Jim Webb
Keith Richards
George Patacki
Lindsey Graham
Bernie Sanders
Patrick Starfish
Ben Carson
Carly Fiorina
Rick Santorum
Martin O'Malley
Rink Allegro
Bobby Jindal
Chris Christie
Marco Rubio
IPLawGuy

Let's haiku about (any one of) them this week!  Here, I will go first:

What a group this is!
Only one makes sense to me...
Go, IPLawGuy!

 Now it is your turn! Just use five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third, and have some fun!


Comments:
Talking heads fill the
Republican clown car, pass
out the red noses
 
Waco Farmer &
John Kasich snubbed in the
Razor straw poll. Foul!
 
Eek! My bad. Let me fix that, WF…

 
Jeb Bush "hopes" he'll run.
Hmmm. I guess I should "hope" I'll
continue breathing.
 
John Kasich, good guy
Will anyone listen then?
No bright lights and glitz.
 
I love them all!
But Hillary is the cutest thing.
She has my vote and heart!
 
Dems view GOP
all-star dream team as clown car;
While Hill seems just right.
 
Clown car was last time,
GOP has deep bench now-
Should be a good race.
 
Go, Tonya Harding!
You'll carry the Portland vote.
Watch out, Hillary.

(Just kidding, y'all. I watched ESPN's "30-for-30" documentary on the Tonya Harding drama last night, so it's fresh in my mind.)
 
The field will winnow
someone will win, then serve
Sure hope that they lead
 
Dreamt of public office
Won't shift social views to right
Nor fiscal to left
 
GOP, deep bench?
Same cast of characters but
clown car needs trailer.
 

BERNIE

Dares to brave tiny
Emperors arrayed in their
Designer birthday

Suits who think it right
To own all the gems while
We tread rough water.


 
I have taken Gail Collins Op Ed from yesterday's NY Times and turned it into a multi-candidate Haiku. So tempting and practically wrote itself.

Rick Perry indictment
Former Governor, Texas
Shot a coyote

Lindsey Graham, besties
with Senator John McCain
He hates Obama

George Pataki, duh..
middle name is Elmer (Fudd)
Great State of New York

Rick Santorum, coal...
dislikes everything on left
Fond of sweater vests

Marco Rubio
Built exotic bird cages
Has a sword named Chang

Rand Paul, Senator
Worships the Aqua Buddha
Cuts his own hair; cheap

Ben Carson, retired
not a politico, once
a neurosurgeon

Hewlett Packard fired
Carly Fiorina, right,
a bad ass woman

Mike Huckabee - ugh...
No Hope, Arkansas; chain saw
He once fried squirrels

Ted Cruz of Texas
no longer likes rock music...
Born in Canada
 
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