Friday, October 24, 2014


Haiku Friday: Cops!

This week I got a mysterious package in the mail from Santa Cruz.  I know for some people they might think "My marijuana finally came!', but not me.  Inside was a beautiful book (available on Amazon) called Police Blotter Haiku, sent by the author Jim Jones.  It is awesome.  He also has a blog on the same subject, which you can see here.

As you might have already guessed, his haiku are ripped from the pages of actual police logs, which are ofter re-printed in small town newspaper.  For example:

Her deceased husband
rose from the grave to apply
for a Sears account.

So, let's take a page from Mr. Jones, and haiku about crime and cops and all that goes with it.  Here, I will go first:

Confusing bank note:
"Give money or I will die!"
Teller:  "Go ahead!"

Now it is your turn!  Have some fun with it (we aren't picky) and use the familiar 5 syllable/7 syllable/5 syllable recipe...

Grew up in LA
Call 1-Adam-12, Code 3
Love my thin blue line
Jerry Fontenot helped
Daddy protect his drugstore.
Great guy. Became chief!
Drinking Sprite all night,
I am stone cold sober, sir,
Those people are drunk.
The red and blues flash.
I roll my window slowly down.
Another fine day.

OH NO, it's the cops!
They can't catch us, we are gone
Damned knee-high fence. Caught.
My mother got stopped
By Trooper Trunkie. No doubt
No ticket was issued.

I believe eyelashes
And tears erased her guilt. Mom
Was quite a glam dame.

Yes...Trooper Trunkie was his real name.Mom,however,unabashed,called him,"Twooper Twunkie.
Driving Barbie Cox home
Speeding of course,cop blew whistle.Barbie said,"Gun it,Renée !!!

So I gunned it and
The police didn't give chase.
How disappointing.
In the back seat with
Sal at Make-out Gulch,what are
Those strobes? Knickers! Sal!
Thanks to Mark Osler for mentioning my book. A couple of haiku I've written recently from true stories in the paper:

The bullets he shot
landed in his neighbor's lot.
His neighbor's pleased -- not.

She got him booked for
carving a melon in a
threatening manner.

And it's all true. Thanks.
Listen Osler--Geoff sucks

My romantic ddnner
Was a banana in the
Back seat. Cops saw the moon..
A good call, Gomer!
Busted Fife at his own game.
Citizen's arrest!
Just discovered weed
He bought fan to blow smoke out
Dorm window.Forgot

To turn it on when
Cops patrolled halls. Finals week.
Madison. Thank God.
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