Osler's Razor

Horrible creatures.
They slink around, small tyrants.
Rarely hit by cars.
 

I love cats, yes I
Love every kind of cat
Can't hug ev'ry cat!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP4NMoJcFd4

PS: I'm pretty sure I used to work with that girl, although she would never admit that was her. I'm also pretty sure Cat Band is available for wedding and bar mitzvahs.
 

She was white all over.
One eye was red, one was blue.
Her name: Lollipop.
 

Furry assassins,
Looking for something to kill,
Thank God cats are small.
 

Furry assassins,
Looking for something to kill,
Thank God cats are small.
 

"Cats or dogs?" they asked.
At least babies use diapers.
Can't I just choose plants?
 

Ode to Taffy Anne.
Long-haired calico. Regal.
Four spotless white boots.

Sunbathing, purring,
Drinking from the toilet bowl.
Fancy Feast for lunch.

Disdainful of all
But ME! Nestled next to me,
My beautiful friend.

Alas!! I sneeze, itch
Hives on my lip. Allergic
To Little Miss Snooty.
 

Mehitabel lined
Oak mantle with sable.Sphinx-
Like she sat humming.

Emily walked to me out
Of a cloud of kittens.Sang-
purred her way to lap.

Tony was my lover
In a previous life,his
Paws,my shoulders...kiss.

Separation anxiety--
Issues.Tony! After demise
Dreamt he came to my bed.
 

Mehitabel lined
Oak mantle with sable.Sphinx-
Like she sat ohm-ing.






I like this better!
 

YT patiently
waits beneath the bird feeder
swatting at the air
 

I am allergic
So cats try to snuggle me
They are just evil.
 

Hubris, arrogance.
Haughty, holier than thou.
Cats are hard to like.
 

She sits in its apex,
Abyssinian tawny--
Staring in centuries.

Protectorate of
Her Highness ink-eyed beauty,
Who robed gold,reclines.

Occasionally
There is a rat or a beetle
Upon which to dine proud.

But mostly beholding
Remains her occupation.
Sometimes the sound of

Her breath and heart will
Distract her. they roar so fierce!
I can rub against

No one but the dead
She thinks.Operatic yowls--
The corpse rises.Yawns.
 

I have a strange cat
he loves a good belly rub
poison ivy lurks
 

His name was Cedric
Befitting a Champion
Cavalier Spaniel.

Fleas and mange did not
Diminish him at eight years
When we rescued him.

Nor did his deafness.
He was charmingly manly.
We nursed him to health.

Given just three years
Of great Cedric adventures
Before his last breath,

We held him, whispered,
We love you, and thank you for
Loving us ... to death.

 

Oh ... I see I may be a week ahead of myself. I was sure I'd remembered the topic was Cats and/or Dogs. After posting my Cedric ode, I began to wonder why there were so many cat haiku compared to my solitary dog haiku. Well, I'm not going to delete it because thinking about Cedric, made me cry and wish for his mighty paws on my shoulders, his jowl to my cheek and his huge, melting brown eyes looking into my blue ones all the minutes of each day. (His deafness meant he stayed close and wanted to be watching or laying on my foot so he would know if I left the room.) I'll re-post it or write another next week if you like the idea of dogs, Professor Osler? In the meantime I have a cat idea to pursue, too.
 

One farm-living fact --
Creatures were always dying.
Kitties broke my heart.

In cold weather they
Crawled under still warm trucks or
Tractors; sat near tires.

Too young to know best,
They got crushed when busy men
Went without checking.

Toms might kill them, too.
Put mom-cats in heat again,
I later was told.

That day Dad killed the
Stray tom, with one true long shot,
I did no mourning.


 

I told Sal,I needed
Something to pet and cuddle:
Hel-lo Kitty!

Kitty had silky fur,
Long feline legs. Sal curtailed my
Anthony Weiner.

 

Listen Osler--Geoff sucks.

Geoff liked Puss in Boots--
Thought he meant six-boob variety...
Not a damn stewardess!


I'll skin her alive too!