Osler's Razor

That's my mom, at my college graduation.  She's a remarkable person, and I get to see her (and my dad) in a few weeks.

There is something unusual about parents:  We don't have a chance to meet them until they are adults.  My first memories of my parents are from the years that they were in their mid-30's.  For a long time, I kind of assumed that their lives began then.

Over time, though, I started to understand how wrong that was-- that my mother was also a daughter, and that who she is has been shaped by that.  Some of the attributes that define her to me-- her wit, her gentle nature, her incisive intelligence-- were molded in places I struggle to understand, and that all happened before we had the opportunity to meet one another.  For example, as a girl she lived in a time when a generation of men left to fight in World War II, and the women left behind had to re-shape not only their lives but their communities and even American industry to fit that reality.   I have never been through anything like that, but sometimes I glimpse the strength and sense of community that come from that time.

Too often, we see the people we love as static beings; we imagine that they have always been and always will be the way they are today.  There is a loss in that, of course... a failure to see growth and struggle, but also a loss in the ability to empathize and understand.  My mom now is a wonderful person, but a different one than the person in the picture above, or who held me the moment after I was born.   There is a continuity, sure, but also an evolution of the soul that I can only marvel at.

God creates us, then we re-create ourselves.  It is a fascinating and wonderful thing to see in those we love the most.