Friday, October 26, 2012

 

Haiku Friday: Ham! (and bacon, and pork loin....)


Today I will be off at Hamline Law School, speaking at this symposium.

I'll be getting there at breakfast-time. At Hamline. Which means-- knowing me-- that I will be thinking about ham. (Yes, I have certain similarities to Winnie-the-Pooh).

So, I might as well just go ahead and haiku about ham, right?

Out of the oven
I wait like a hungry feline
For that first sweet piece.

Now it is your turn! Just make it roughly 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables and you will have earned the chance to get your bio here on Monday!


Comments:
An eternity
is a ham and two people
-Dorothy Parker.

It took me five years
To tolerate country ham
Now I miss it. Sad.

The old ladies said
poppy seed dressing on ham
biscuits was a sin,

Only something a
damn Yankee would serve. I am
guilty as charged. Yum.

Walking in the dorm
Cafeteria, I picked
out ham casserole.

Embarrassed by my
choice, I said in mock hick tones,
"I got me some HAM."

I thought I said it
to my friend, but I spoke to a
complete stranger. Oops.
 
Country ham biscuits
bring a little Southern grace
to any table.
 
Plaudits to the Rev
And delightful witty wife
A new table grace?
 
Best thing at wedding
Was the maple bacon stacked
on platters. Classy.




 
People like pork stuffs
Which they say most resembles...
Human Meat - Creepy.
 
Nothing smells better:
Forget those scented candles;
fry up some bacon!
 
Extra bacon fat
Makes everything taste better
They dont need to know



 
Professor dear...I think you've just won your own contest. Although I do quite love Carrie's second and third,and humbly state that I would eat anything she put on a biscuit or off it.
 
Barrymore in a
Maroon silk smoking jacket
Seduced crowd with ham.
 
Ain't nothing taste good
When your heart has been broken
Well ... except bacon.
 
While on the B-Line,
With an Outline for Hamline,
Osler's thoughts wander Porcine.
 
Croque Monsieur - "Mister
Sandwich." Whatever it's called,
the French got it right.
 
Dorie put on cloves,
Pineapple,cherries,mustard
Back from church: hambrosia.
 
Ham sputtered skillet.
Next two fresh eggs,and spuds
Success imminent.
 
Mission: Ice Cream Cake.
Bonus: When Pigs Fly sample.
Ooooo...Bacon Ice Cream?

Yes. Chocolate chips,
maple syrup, black pepper,
Smooth bacon finish.

But then...ouch... It's the
Black pepper that packs a punch.
Next time? Oreo.
 
Bacon, tenderloin,
Sausages, chops, hocks, spare ribs...
...wait...what? Hamnesia.

(Hamused? Hamazed? Credit to Renee for her hambidextous use of Hambrosia)
 
Jamón serrano,
Vianda del cielo,
Tapa ideal.
 
Okay,Buddy...I cannot top the elegance and gorgeous sensuous phrasology of poesia en Espanol. You are not playing fair,Senor Medievalist!!! Nevertheless...


Grandma presided
When ham and potato wed.
Kitchen kids danced jigs.
 
Renee: "Hambrosia"! Genius.

Still, like a football team down by 28 in the fourth quarter, I must soldier on:

Green eggs and ham? Damn!
I will eat them from a can.
(Psst. Please hold the eggs.)
Bob
 
So,weary of sea,
Ham did not flee Father's drunk,
Naked form.But told,bold.

Brothers walked backward
So as not to see the snake
Which gave them birth.

Noah awakened,
Chastened Ham. His curse made Ham
Serve siblings--> War uncivil.
 
Of Loins of Pork

There it sat bronzed and
Succulent beside apples--
Victor of growling.
 
Gammon salad with
My tea,cornucopia
For me.Cress,ham...see!
 
It was not ham,but
Something other.Made of salt,
Nightmares.Spam allure.
 
I was hungry and
You fed me a ham sandwich,
With cheese lace. Marvel.
 
Vetcheena Ya vas
Lyoobloo.Tvoiya rozovaya
Menya oslepeet.

Take that,Spanish Medievalist!
 
Pork: whisper of air
Between skin and salt sublime!
Rind:too few of you!
 
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