Osler's Razor

I recently asked New Christine to write a little something for the blog about herself, and she did a wonderful job, writing about an experience at a reunion. Her work is found below:

“Hi Christine… It was nice to see you yesterday at the cemetery…it brought back a lot of memories of being a kid and playing at your house… But I’m really confused… I don't remember a Christine in your family... I remember Carolyn and Debra and Charles, but I cannot for the life of me remember a Christine… I know Charles was about a year or 2 older than we were but I just don't ever remember meeting you at your house… Is my memory getting that bad?? I guess at my age I can't expect to remember everything but I sure am confused on this one… Anyway it’s always nice to run into people from the past… best regards, Patti.”

Two reunions planned on the same day. My choice, family over high school, though morning was set aside for a side trip and picnic lunch in the town where I grew up – blanket spread between my parent’s final resting place and next to that of my uncle. Conversations initially silent soon became vocal.

A greeting offered to a young woman, with watering can in hand, began a new friendship. Nikki was tending to the flowers for her loved ones, acknowledged my comments and approached to inquire why a woman was sitting on a blanket. A&W root beer, half eaten burger and fries, a picnic – mystery solved, conversation continued and she has more flowers to water. With an emotional voice and tears of happiness, I gratefully accepted her offer to tend to my parent’s flowers.

The cemetery trip became reason for being more than a little late for the all family bar-b-que. I missed the reunion and made amends by spending the week visiting family and loved ones.

Upon my return home, I was flooded with emails, an email from Nikki, received before Patti’s, required responses to both.

Dearest Nikki,
“…And yes, I had ‘...a wonderful rest of the weekend.’ Though, I created quite a stir... Thank you for introducing me to your dear friend and reacquainting me with her parents (Patti and Casey) – looking into their eyes encouraged me to unexpectedly attend my class reunion.”

“Patti, you are not losing your mind and a little confusion – well, who wasn’t last weekend. My parents had ‘only’ three children, Deborah, Carolyn and Charles. “…Charles was…” and ‘is now’ Christine. Childhood dreams instilled by faith, family and school were mostly achieved. Spouse, parent and architecture embraced – though all came with a twist.”

(My closest friends and those who have met New Christine no longer live in our twin towns – That afternoon I was in familiar, though uncharted waters.)

Within the month, Nikki sent me another email…

Hi Christine.
“…One other thing I wanted to mention is that many of the people that you graduated with have heard that we became friends. I think it is so wonderful that they all have such great things to say about you!! Men and women all say such kind wonderful things.

It goes to show that if you are true to yourself and treat people with kindness, even in this small minded community (which it can be!) people will care…”
Nikki =)

The week had begun with another of ‘those’ conversations and an awkward dance with the Holy Spirit during my drive north – I was not convincing. How did I agree to wear my most stylish summer dress and sandals during a four hour road trip to a cemetery picnic and family bar-b-que? After meeting Nikki, I had my answer.
The past year, I was gifted an old, prized coffee mug from a new friend I met while attending a morning mass at my son’s parish – offered on the second of each month to honor my granddaughter’s birth. The inscription reads, “God danced the day you were born.” God danced the day Nikki was born…

Her kindness and generosity have few limits – “I was FINALLY able to finish your manuscript. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sharing with me! I smiled, laughed, and cried. I hated every time something came up that made me put it down. …I just can’t stop telling my family what a wonderful person you are, and all the struggles, but also triumphs you have encountered. Your faith brings tears to my eyes. I am a Sunday School teacher at the Faith Lutheran Church in HL. I respect the Catholic religion very much, I actually feel that the two (Catholic and Lutheran) are very similar. While reading about your faith I honestly got chills and tears. It is amazing!!!”

It is she that amazes! Her first marriage ended when she and her three children left an abusive, alcoholic husband (father). Years later, a new, blessed, blended family was formed – soon to be staggered by the great recession. “We have gone through quite a bit in the short time that we have been together, but (through economic hard times, rotating shift changes and uncertain schedules) we both feel it has all brought us closer together.”

Closer together and active in her community; “I feel after reading all about you I would give you a little more about me. …I went to BSU for Elementary Ed, but with 5 children and their busy schedules and my love for volunteering (currently I am active in the HL Chamber, HL Water Carnival Committee, Miss HL coordinator, Faith Lutheran Church council and Call Committee, and I am on the Mesabi East Youth Hockey Board) I have chosen to be a paraprofessional at the school. This allows me to still use my teaching skills (plus add more, as my student last year was deaf, so I am quickly learning American Sign Language).” Ask around our twin towns, most everyone knows and admires Nikki’s generosity and compassion. Meeting and getting to know her has been one blessing after another. Nikki was the first to greet Christine and welcome her home.

Like Nikki, my greatest blessings have come from sharing a moment with another person. Everything we say to another, do for another or accomplish on behalf of another is initiated by our willingness to share a moment in time. When our Spirit allows another person to feel comfortable in our presence, so many wonderful experiences are possible – silence can be enjoyed, listening can be rewarded, words can be appreciated, a message can be heard, tasks can be accomplished, relationships can be reinforced or mended, events can be defining, love can be made, the possibilities are endless. It starts with sharing a moment, sharing a moment together.

To all, thank you with all my heart for opening your hearts to me and sharing your blended (Osler) family.