Osler's Razor

In the comments to Sunday's post, OsoGrande made a reference to Baylor's "Green Bear" mascot, which got me to thinking about that whole thing. Previously on the Razor, I have given a detailed history of Baylor mascots up to about 1934. Since that time, though, things have gotten a little weird. During the ten years I worked at Baylor (which coincidentally, were the dark years for Baylor's mens sports), there were about five different versions of the Baylor Bear rolling around:

1) Sailor Bear

How could you not love Sailor Bear? The jaunty sailor cap, the challenging visage, the bearlike demeanor, and the totally bizarre idea of having a sailor mascot for landlocked Baylor. It made no sense at all-- which meant it made all the sense in the world. Sadly, Baylor apparently does not own exclusive rights to Sailor Bear, so they no longer use him.

Having a mascot floating around without proper trademark protection can be risky. According to one history, Sailor Bear ran into some problems during the war years, "when it was dropped due to the fact that a German U-Boat which terrorized trans-Atlantic shipping was reportedly named (without Baylor's approval, obviously) “Baylorsgebang- bruindasboot,” with a picture of the Baylor mascot stenciled on its side next to the Nazi swastika."







2) Green Bear

So, what makes even less sense than Sailor Bear? That would be the very odd "Green Bear," which may well remain Baylor's symbol (they do own the rights, after all). Why, exactly, is the bear green? My guess is Aramark food, but there may be some genetic mutation involved, or Waco water (which always turned me a little green, too).

I have a hunch that Green Bear was a product of the 1980's, which gave us a number of baffling cultural icons, like "The Simpsons" and Journey's Song That Won't Go Away, "Don't Stop Believing." Green Bear is pretty much the "Don't Stop Believing" of college mascots.











3) Inflatable Bear

Appearing exclusively at Baylor basketball games, inflatable bear (who was also green) was gigantic and wobbled around unsteadily before performing various antics: pulling his head inside his body, bounding on his head upside-down, appearing to gobble up a cheerleader, etc.

At least once, I saw the inflatable bear in a parade, terrorizing children as he lurched unpredictably from one curb to the other. Confusingly, the inflatable bear, like the live bears, is named "Judge."












4) Live bears

For several decades, Baylor has had live bears living on campus, and at times (many years ago) they were brought out at football games to drink Dr. Pepper to promote one of the team's sponsors. Some people had a problems with forcing Dr. Pepper down a chained bear's throat, so they stopped doing that and now they just stroll about with students and live in a very nice zoo in the center of campus. They are all, like the inflatable bear, named "Judge" for some reason.

Some sources have reported that the new Baylor stadium might contain a glassed-in area where the bears can comfortably watch football games, but others think that money might be spent instead on academics... we'll see.













5) Bruiser the Bear

Bruiser appears at many Baylor games-- and, apparently, is enrolled full-time as a student who attends class in full bear suit. At least he is the right color, not too nautical, and eats an appropriate omnivorous diet! Still, he creeps me out a little.

Which one is best? My vote is for Sailor Bear...