Wednesday, August 29, 2012

 

Essential Kitchen Items, 2012



1) Hydraulic Food Defenestrator (Sur La Table, $110)

Who doesn’t love lobster? The challenge, of course, is the struggle to remove the meat from the shell. For years, I wrestled with this task, trying every method possible: Digging at it with my kitchen spade, scraping at the shell with a lobster trowel, and even firing explosives at it from a safe distance using my pantry mortar. All have proved ineffective.

Finally, I found the perfect solution: The Hydraulic Food Defenstrator, which gently lobs the ungainly crustacean out of an open window onto the pavement. While proper defenestration takes good aim and certain attributes of the space (adequate room and an open window), the results are fun, efficient, and quite the spectacle! I love to have the whole family run outside to gather up the lobster meat. Best used on the tenth floor or lower.

2) Hardwood Handle Kitchen Spade (Target, $11)

With portion sizes growing and kitchen staples like flour and hummus now coming in gigantic sacks at places like Costco and Sam’s Club, even small families find that they need a sturdy four-foot kitchen spade on a daily basis. Target’s version is well weighted and designed, yet tough enough to fling even tough-to-handle products like chick peas and capers. When it is time to shovel it on, there is nothing like a kitchen spade!

3) Turkey Lanyard (Williams-Sonoma, $45)

Every year, more people come around to the benefits of slaughtering a live turkey at home for the ultimate in freshness. One problem with this, of course, is finding a handy way to hang the turkey upside-down once the head has been removed while continuing to work on the remainder of your meal. The ingenious Turkey Lanyard is a great solution: a strap at the end of the lanyard wraps around Mr. Gobbler’s feet, allowing the turkey blood to drain in the proper position. Best of all, it leaves both hands free to continue your prep work or whip up drinks for your guests.

The Turkey Lanyard comes in white, teal, and red, but we found the last of these to be the most practical.

4) Re-Pita Food Regenerator (Ronco, $12.99)

With pita bread prices going through the roof, everyone is trying to find an economical way to re-use stale or unpalatable pitas. The Food Regenerator is just the right tool for the job. A foot-square stainless steel box operated with a single button, it gently mists your pita back into freshness. Mine also came with a somewhat perplexing attachment that apparently is designed to dry out the wet pita by flinging it in a circle, a somewhat messy proposition akin to being sprayed by a wet dog.

We found that while the Food Regenerator did a great job with pita, the results were less satisfying when we tried it out with crème brule and a forgotten strip of mutton.

5) Sturgeon Lance (J. Peterman Kitchens, $230)

The freshest caviar is kind you remove from the fish yourself shortly before serving your delighted guests. The new Sturgeon Lance is an age-old solution to a very modern problem. Using a few simple tools, the Lance attaches to the sliding side door of any minivan. Once it is secured, you simply drive the van towards your accomplice, who flings the live fish at the right moment to remove the roe. We found that it takes a bit of practice to get things just right, but once the learning period is over the Sturgeon Lance will be a tool you reach for every time you entertain!

6) Embroidered Chicken Thong (Victoria’s Secret, $25)

Is it just me, or is there something vaguely embarrassing about a beautifully cooked chicken fresh out of the oven, sticking its butt up in the air like a hussy? One elegant way to avoid this awkward moment is with the new Chicken Thong, which is produced in three sizes and is even oven-safe. Though they are a bit pricey for a single-use item, this splurge is worth it.

Comments:
I really could use that turkey lanyard.

 
Have you come across any new gadgets to help clean squid?

 
A pantry mortar? Where can I find one of THOSE? I'm bored with my flamethrower and need a new toy.
 
Thanks for bringing back J. Peterman. It has been a while.

 
I vote for the 'automatic kitchen floor cleaner', otherwise known as a dog. Convertible to an 'under chair dining floor cleaner' in the presence of a small child or careless adult.

They are self powered, require no batteries, and activate automatically in the event of drops and spills.

Lee
 
But what to wear when using the J. Peterman Sturgeon Lance? An urban sombrero?
 
Hey - I got one of those J. Peterman catalogues inthe mail last month.

Lee - I have two under table cleaners I willl lend out for a price...

 
Christine - I have one already, but thanks. I think one should be issued to every parent with small children or grandchildren.

Lee
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

#