Osler's Razor

From December 23, 2010:

I'm living back in Big Ten territory now. Though I never went to a Big Ten school, I have always been a big fan of two of the schools-- Michigan and Northwestern. Now, though, the Big Ten seems to have gotten pretty stupid. With the addition of Nebraska next year, they will have twelve schools, and the plan is to split into two divisions. Idiotically, instead of dividing into logical East/West divisions, they have come up with this scheme involving the "Legends" and the "Leaders":

LEGENDS
Iowa
Michigan
Michigan State
Minnesota
Nebraska
Northwestern

LEADERS
Illinois
Indiana
Ohio State
Penn State
Purdue
Wisconsin

Really, Big Ten? At what point did this seem like a good idea?

My sister Kathy (Wisconsin BA, 1990) and I have a better solution. It is based on the present reality that the Big Ten is naturally divided 6/6 between schools that have fuzzy woodland animals as mascots, and those that have unusual people with big heads. Here is how it would break down:

Fuzzy Woodland Friends Division:

Northwestern Wildcats
Minnesota Gophers
Michigan Wolverines
Wisconsin Badgers
Penn State Nittany Lions
Iowa Hawkeyes

Big Head Guy Division:

Purdue Boiler Head Guys
Indiana Hoosiers
Michigan State Spartans
Ohio State Buckeyes
Nebraska Cornhuskers
Illinois Illini

So you can see what I am talking about, here is the Fuzzy Woodland Friends Division (click on a photo to enlarge it):

Minnesota (apparently, not a real gopher, though he can do his own laundry):


Penn State (I'm not really sure what he is doing here):


Northwestern (a very wild cat, it seems):


Wisconsin:


Michigan:



Iowa:


And now, the Big Head Guy Division:

Purdue:


Indiana (I think this is a Hoosier...):


Ohio State (maybe the weirdest of all):



Michigan State (is Sparty involved in some kind of riot here?):



Nebraska (this guy looks a lot like the Big Boy):



Illinois (I'm pretty sure this is Illini-Wek's replacement, Super-Bob Barker):