Friday, August 03, 2012

 

August Reruns: My favorite posts

From October 9, 2007:


I was walking today when a song slipped out of my iPod. I don't remember putting it in there, or hearing it before. It was "High and Low" by Greg Laswell. It isn't the kind of song I would normally like, but it captured my mood in that exact moment-- kind of a very gentle melancholy born of sad but not tragic memories.

"Once I can see straight,
I might move somewhere cold;
Seattle or the Bay Area
To see your ghost
What's left of you
What's left of you.

Found a letter from a man
I might have met
Addressed to you
I'll steal the words he ended with:
"I miss you."

My life has been largely free of tragedy and full of good fortune. There was no dead father or alcoholic mother or jailed sibling; no debilitation emotions or crushing illness. My sadnesses don't take me back to a horrible memory but rather to my own failings, those moments when I should have been kind and wasn't or felt lost when others were really there for me. My dad was painting a portrait once, and someone said the subject looked sad (it might have been the one shown here). My dad disagreed; "It's just the good blues" he explained. I like that phrase, and I know that feeling.

The funny thing is that the good blues today came on the heels of what has been a wonderful week. They just kind of wafted in on a memory of a slight I may have once inflicted, many many years ago. Of course, with the kinds of things that happened this week there are always the seeds of both challenge and change, the vague sense that all this may be temporary in one way or another.

And, it is October.

October, when there should be leaves on the ground and the sound of a marching band practicing and events at the school to be a little late for, when certain scents return-- apples and cinnamon and pumpkin and smoke. Each leaf on the ground is a death, but also an accomplishment and promise fulfilled, greater than any of mine. When I have the good blues, each leaf is humbling.

If you were in my courtroom today, I'm sorry that my critiques were not as sharp and knowing as I hope for. Part of me was somewhere else apart from here in place and time, a little boy in a lion costume walking by the curb, pushing the leaves with his feet, sad that Halloween was over.

Comments:
...the seeds of both challenge and change," speak to sunset before the dawn - each new day, blessings of the entire liturgical season offered.

“The miracle is not the life you’ve missed, but the life you’ve lived.” Each new tomorrow a blessing, a blessing fortunate to share with God, family, loved ones and friends. Life most revealing, invitation for our heart to remain open to love and creation. A life of wonder and opportunity that unfolds in the light, a harbinger of new tomorrows we can face with more confidence and faith intact, willingly and thankfully embracing each new experience.

"I miss you."

To our loved ones and friends we are never far away. The experiences we enjoy and share are the grace and blessings we have received. They are the grace and blessings that have been attracted to us. They are our extraordinary experiences and our true rewards.

With hand extened His words are ever present, "Come!" Truth may be in our words, "I miss you," though we are never alone...
 
I love the “good blues” as much as I hate the feeling “GREAT” all the time approach of the positive attitude dictatorship. The ever so popular zero tolerance for negativity is super-contrived and super-detrimental. So I say, treat yourself to the “good blues” from time to time. You’ll be a lot happier and most certainly a lot saner than the feel-great, ever grinning, always annoying super-positive flocks.
 
Damn, I miss you.
 
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