Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Just up on the Huffington Post!
This latest piece on the sad letters I get, titled When the Atheists Are Right. As of Thursday morning, it was up on HuffPo's front page.
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After Kevin's comment posted on your blog last week, my friends and I assured Sunday morning Mass was offered for Kevin and his wife's son - a young man many of us will continue to keep in our prayers.
With each beat of our heart, we are closer to dealth - whether we believe in God or not. I believe their son is comforted by loved ones and friends - and by family in ways unknown - though, for his parents to withhold their love must be hard to live with and will be especially difficult and regretful after their son has passed.
Ask most anyone of deep faith one of their greatest comforts - and many will answer, losing their life. In Matthew can be found the words, “…Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” To love unconditionally, often a challenge - to journey through life witnessing and attempting to right the wrongs of others, misery that begets more misery.
And to those who savor the finite moments life provides, a belief in something greater than self makes each moment that much sweeter - Ask around, many who have willing "died to self" are enjoying "Heaven on Earth," with a promise of so much more...
With each beat of our heart, we are closer to dealth - whether we believe in God or not. I believe their son is comforted by loved ones and friends - and by family in ways unknown - though, for his parents to withhold their love must be hard to live with and will be especially difficult and regretful after their son has passed.
Ask most anyone of deep faith one of their greatest comforts - and many will answer, losing their life. In Matthew can be found the words, “…Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” To love unconditionally, often a challenge - to journey through life witnessing and attempting to right the wrongs of others, misery that begets more misery.
And to those who savor the finite moments life provides, a belief in something greater than self makes each moment that much sweeter - Ask around, many who have willing "died to self" are enjoying "Heaven on Earth," with a promise of so much more...
# posted by 
: 7:16 PM
: 7:16 PM
Prof., I didn't comment when you originally posted Kevin's letter, but I disagree with one thing you wrote. I don’t necessarily see hate in the words Kevin wrote. I see him "heartbroken" by his "baby son" choosing a moral path he does not feel is right; it seems to me his words are very loving in their own way, convoluted as that may sound.
Under Kevin's belief that homosexuality is not only his son’s choice but a sin, and under Kevin's belief that his son (or anyone for that matter) must repent of sin before he passes from this earth to enjoy eternal spiritual life, he only wants his son to take the steps he sees as necessary to enjoy what he sees is best for his son. We can criticize his reasoning, rationale, logic, interpretation skills, etc. in getting to the beliefs he holds (which includes what many would say is ignoring a large part of what Jesus stood for), but again, it seems like Kevin only wants what he sees is truly important for his son: to be spiritually present with God for eternity.
Does Kevin not accepting his son’s choices equal withholding his love? I am not a parent, but I can’t imagine that anyone would say that a parent must accept every choice their children make in order to fully love them. I would think that a parent’s love actually makes them wish their children made many different decisions. Does Kevin not accepting his son’s choices necessarily equal hate? At best it seems like it may be ignorant, and very certainly tragic for the limited time left Kevin and his son have to spend together on this earth. But is it really impossible that Kevin could say with sincerity to his son that he loves him more than anything in the world but still disagrees with the decisions he made and (in Kevin’s mind) continue to make?
In any event, reading Kevin’s letter makes me very sad and reading your article (and the many you write) makes me very proud.
Under Kevin's belief that homosexuality is not only his son’s choice but a sin, and under Kevin's belief that his son (or anyone for that matter) must repent of sin before he passes from this earth to enjoy eternal spiritual life, he only wants his son to take the steps he sees as necessary to enjoy what he sees is best for his son. We can criticize his reasoning, rationale, logic, interpretation skills, etc. in getting to the beliefs he holds (which includes what many would say is ignoring a large part of what Jesus stood for), but again, it seems like Kevin only wants what he sees is truly important for his son: to be spiritually present with God for eternity.
Does Kevin not accepting his son’s choices equal withholding his love? I am not a parent, but I can’t imagine that anyone would say that a parent must accept every choice their children make in order to fully love them. I would think that a parent’s love actually makes them wish their children made many different decisions. Does Kevin not accepting his son’s choices necessarily equal hate? At best it seems like it may be ignorant, and very certainly tragic for the limited time left Kevin and his son have to spend together on this earth. But is it really impossible that Kevin could say with sincerity to his son that he loves him more than anything in the world but still disagrees with the decisions he made and (in Kevin’s mind) continue to make?
In any event, reading Kevin’s letter makes me very sad and reading your article (and the many you write) makes me very proud.
Jon-
I received a lot of correspondence from "Kevin" (not just that one relatively small portion I quoted), and it was clear from the whole that he is shunning his son as he dies. I thought that came through in the language he chose in the portion I quoted, but perhaps not.
I do wonder if it isn't just made up, actually, and hope in a way that it is-- that there is no son. After all, if he is alluding to AIDS, that is now a chronic and treatable disease.
At any rate, I see your point but would argue that if he thinks he needs to save his child from hell, then the kind of anger and blaming he expresses is terrible advocacy. It will only push the son further away.
I received a lot of correspondence from "Kevin" (not just that one relatively small portion I quoted), and it was clear from the whole that he is shunning his son as he dies. I thought that came through in the language he chose in the portion I quoted, but perhaps not.
I do wonder if it isn't just made up, actually, and hope in a way that it is-- that there is no son. After all, if he is alluding to AIDS, that is now a chronic and treatable disease.
At any rate, I see your point but would argue that if he thinks he needs to save his child from hell, then the kind of anger and blaming he expresses is terrible advocacy. It will only push the son further away.
I'm not certain how to word this regarding Kevin and his situation.
Last week I hoped that Kevin would tell his son how much he loved him. I still believe that; as everyone in this world is loved by someone: parents, friends, partners, children...
Perhaps Kevin's anger really stems with the knowledge that this is 'his' son and that he helped create a son who is gay. And he views this as a reflection on himself and who he is and how people see him (not Kevin). And he doesn't know how to reconcile this within himself or with his views of The Bible.
At one point in my life I went to church and I remember learning I can ask God for forgiveness so that is the easy part; but Kevin needs to learn how to forgive himself.
Last week I hoped that Kevin would tell his son how much he loved him. I still believe that; as everyone in this world is loved by someone: parents, friends, partners, children...
Perhaps Kevin's anger really stems with the knowledge that this is 'his' son and that he helped create a son who is gay. And he views this as a reflection on himself and who he is and how people see him (not Kevin). And he doesn't know how to reconcile this within himself or with his views of The Bible.
At one point in my life I went to church and I remember learning I can ask God for forgiveness so that is the easy part; but Kevin needs to learn how to forgive himself.
I'm reminded of one of those gospel songs Bob Darden dug up, "Old Ship of Zion" by the Mighty Wonders of Aquasco, Maryland. It has these words, which are in the title of Bob's forthcoming book: "There's nothing but love in God's water."
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