Tuesday, May 08, 2012

 

The Avengers: A few questions


So, I went to see the new Avengers movie, and I thought it was great. I just have a few questions...

1) How lethal are these alien invaders, exactly, if they are so easily defeated by a primitive medieval weapon, the arrow?

2) What, exactly, is the possible advantage of having an aircraft carrier fly? I mean... the thing is already carrying lots of things that fly. That's the point. It seems like having the aircraft carrier fly around (apparently about 40 feet off the ground most of the time) offers little advantage, while adding a lot of risks-- like being shot down by arrows, which actually happens in the movie.

3) At one point, the Black Widow appears to kill someone with her hair. Sure, a waving sheet of blonde hair has been proven to incapacitate grown men, but this death was caused through direct contact with short, somewhat mousey hair.

4) How is it that this crew of brilliant scientists and spies come to be under the command of a remarkably doltish group called "The Council," which thinks it is a good idea to nuke Manhattan?

Any ideas?

Comments:
More importantly, how exactly does the Hulk go from being totally out of control one minute--attacking his friends and wreaking havoc aboard the arrow-shy flying aircraft carrier--to fighting alongside his friends in an organized, controlled way?
 
1) “Primitive” you think!...goes to show one should never underestimate the epic piercing power of the arrow.
2) What can be more spectacular than having an aircraft carrier plopping down from the sky after being shot down with an arrow.
3) Oh, chaetophobia is real and real scary!! One wouldn’t know unless they had some NYC Aphrodites wave their flowing tresses in a crowded subway (paralyzing horror chill running down my spine!!!).
4) Not that uncommon... brilliant scientists make lousy commanders, so they somehow always end up with cretins managing them.
Perhaps I should mention I have no idea about this movie. I have not seen it.
 
And let that be a lesson to you: bad hair can kill. Salons do have a place in this universe.
 
"What, exactly, is the possible advantage of having an aircraft carrier fly?"

Ummmmm, IT IS A FREAKING FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER! I'm not sure what the tactical advantage of such a craft is, but I'm absolutely positive that it is a good idea. I'm sure this will make sense to every 10-15 year old boy in America that will just instinctively understand that a flying aircraft carrier is badass.
 
bAD HAIR CAN kIL...
 
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