Wednesday, March 14, 2012

 

It's the Razor Ranking Spectacular!

My favorite ranking ever appeared in Senator Al Franken's 2002 masterwork, Oh, The Things I Know! On page 47, he offers his readers a list of "World Religions in Order of Quality." Here is his ranking:

1) Reform Judaism
2) Conservative Judaism
3) Unitarianism
4) Christianity (Mainstream Protestant)
5) Christianity (Roman Catholic)
6) Islam (Muhammad Ali/Ahmad Rashad Type)
7) Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism, etc.
8) Judaism (Orthodox)
9) Christianity (Fundamentalist)
10) Islam (Fundamentalist)

What do you think? Does that look about right?

Comments:
How do you rank the "quality" of a religion though? Number of adherents? Ease of integration with everyday life? Historical/scientific accuracy? Cost/benefit? Some context is needed I'm afraid.
 
Buddhism, Hinduism and Confucianism need to be separated. They are really quite different religions. It makes no more sense to lump them together than it would to treat all versions of Christianity (Catholic and Protestant) as a single religion.
 
Obviously, Al's making a humorous point. But Susan is right on the whole Buddhism/Hinduism thing (Shiva is not pleased). I'm also not sure Mormonism, the Jehovah's Witnesses, 7th Day Adventists, and Quakers, not to mention God's Frozen Chosen (Episcopals), deserve to be lumped into the same category. Also, I'd put televangelism dead last. The Wauhobism types aren't particularly nice people, but at least they believe in something. Folks like Benny Hinn, the Crouches, Robert Tilton et al., not so much.
Bob
 
Never mind Buddha and Confucius or even Shiva, Durga is the one to watch out for when you lump all those together!
 
Where do alumni donations figure in all this?
 
And what's the Priest/Rabbi/Minister/Imam to Parishoner ratio?

Are there standardized tests for any of these?
 
How do you become an "alumni" of a religion? Death?

I think library volumes plays into it...
 
Does the term "planned giving" ring a bell?
 
D'oh!
 
NO Unitarians anywhere in sight.
 
TYD, IT IS NUMBER 3 ON THE LIST. THAT IS THE NUMBER THAT COMES AFTER "2."
 
OMG I totoally MISSED IT!!!!
I guess I was Blinded by that Burning Question mark someone put on my front lawn.
 
OMG I totoally MISSED IT!!!!
I guess I was Blinded by that Burning Question mark someone put on my front lawn.
 
As the Charismatic Agnostic once screamed, "I really, really don't know!!!!!!!!"
Bob
 
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