Osler's Razor

There were many strange and wonderful entries last Friday for the haiku contest, on the topic of "what I wish I hadn't said." Our winner, though, by acclamation, is "anonymous," for this little ditty:


I wish I hadn't said
That I wanted fries with that
Forty thousand times.

And now for his biography:

Anonymous (pictured above) is a retired journeyman sportswriter now living in the Tampa Bay area. Sadly, he is completely immobilized, save for a once-a-month trip to Sam's Club for shopping, an excursion that requires an electric scooter to move his considerable girth.

For forty-three years, Anonymous ate at least two meals a day at a Hardee's Restaurant which was located next door to his home. It was during this time that he ate over two million french fries. When that restaurant closed, he was lost and confused, and took to eating various gumm products (ie, gummy bears, gummy worms) at every meal for another two years. Sadly, the side effects of gumm (which is a petroleum refining by-product) took a toll on his health, and he had to move to a different part of Tampa to be close to a different Hardee's location.

Yet, through it all, his poetic muse endured! All hail, Anonymous!