Sunday, August 21, 2011

 

Sunday Reflection: Forgiveness



Last night I went to a barbecue for a group called "Death to Life." At the heart of it is reconciliation between murderers and the families they destroyed. The story above, about Mary Johnson and her son's killer, would not have been possible if Oshea had gotten the sentence of juvenile life without parole.

I'm overwhelmed when I meet people like this. I'm not sure that I could ever ever do that. Could you?

Comments:
No. Sadly, I could not. I admire those that can.
 
Mary Johnson said forgiveness is for herself. I think it may be the deeply faithful Mary Jonhnson forgiving the mother of a murdered son Mary Johnson. As for Oshea what he did is unforgiving but repenting, if given a second chance, is the best that he can do. I think I could only forgive someone who proved beyond my most unequivocal doubt that they desperately want a second chance. Emphasis on “desperately want a second chance.”
 
This seems to be a popular topic this week.

http://laughingwater.org/2011/08/19/forgiveness-again/

Anne Lamott wrote in Traveling Mercies that refusing to forgive (or holding a grudge) is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die. In other words, the would-be forgiver is harmed more by the failure to forgive than the potential forgivee.

However, it is in our human nature *not* to forgive, which is why it is so difficult. From an evolutionary standpoint, forgiving and forgetting that lion that ate your babies isn't going to do much for the perpetuation of the species. (And yes, I'm aware that there's a distinction between forgiving and forgetting, but bear with me.) I'm a horrible grudge holder for much less than what Mary Johnson experienced. I'm working on it. It's not easy.
 
I belong to the 'don't get mad, get even!' school. It may take years, but it comes around. This doesn't mean I brood, plot, spend my time thinking about it - just file in the back of my mind and wait for the opportunity to arise.

Letting these thoughts dominate your mind and waste time brooding is a shame. Just wait....

Lee
 
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