Tuesday, February 08, 2011

 

In the garage...


Over the weekend, I was playing "Cranium" with some people, and pulled a card that required me to name something starting with "E" which would normally be found in a garage. All of my answers were rejected:

Electric rake
Electrocardiogram
Encyclopedia
Entrails

These answers wouldn't seems to lame if you had ever seen my parents' garage. Here are some of the objects found there at one time or another (note that the list does not include "a car"-- I never saw one parked there):

A moose head
A stack of car radios with loose wires
Large metal cans full of unidentifiable liquids, the labels having decayed
Squirrels
An entire art studio
A stocked fridge
Stacks of important-looking documents under a hubcap
A coal shovel (I actually now have that in my garage)
Hockey sticks filed to a point at the business end
Bucket of completely dead tennis balls
Chuck the Cat
Mannequin attached to a rotating magazine rack, wearing a hat
Fencing equipment (foil)
The U.S. Strategic Dead Battery Reserve
Surveying equipment
Trombone

So.. what's in your garage?

Comments:
"A stack of car radios with loose wires"

If I remember correctly, when you were a prosecutor you worked pretty hard to disrupt this kind of criminal activity, right?
 
When I had a garage, it was full of lawn and garden implements, bicycle repair equipment and related junk
 
1) A roof rake, which is an object that I never knew existed before moving to the Deep North.

2) An industrial-sized snow blower, without which I would surely have been trapped inside my house this winter and died long ago.

3) An extra refrigerator, which can't be used during the coldest months of the year. However, this summer I think that I'll store beer in it, open the garage door, and sit there in a lawn chair for hours on end. It's always important to have something to look forward to.
 
all that fancy service ware we got for our wedding.

VHS movies including UHF, Red Dawn, Godfather II and III (but not the original for some reason) and a Collectors Edition of Strange Brew.

Lamp shade.

A hatchback cargo cover and rear seat headrests to a car we sold years ago (Vovlo V-50 if anyone is interested...)

Skates. Lots of skates.
 
Since we own two homes we have twice the junk. In Tampa we have a carport and after 20+ years my car is residing in the carport this winter while I travel between Tampa and Durham. It resides beside a dozen trash cans, recycling bin; some bags of quick crete cement mix (now solid), a 30ft extension broom, other yard implements and chemicals and a 10ft aluminum ladder. In the old days, it was full of decking lumber and a stationary training bike and assorted garden pots. The car sadly parked in the driveway

In Durham we have a 3 car carport with a small enclosed storage room at one end and an enclosed, windowed garden room at the other end. We now have a chain saw and a pressure washer, along with 30ft of PVC pipe, a bike, helmut and tire pump, 2 wheel barrels and a garden wagon, cats, cat crates, cat baskets and cat igloos, drying firewood, assorted garden tools, fertiziler and other chemicals. Also room for 2 cars.

I'm pretty sure the intern could find material to build something.
 
A car. It's not mine, technically.
 
I've got Dungeon Master's Guide
I've got a 12-sided die
I've got Kitty Pryde
And Nightcrawler too
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do

In the garage, I feel safe
No one cares about my ways
In the garage where I belong
No one hears me sing this song.
 
We used masking tape to outline "parking spots" for all five boys' bicycles. (No room for cars in our garage, either!)
 
Lots of boxes. Moving soon.
 
A refrigerator, full of beer. And a lawnmower. One of these things gets used more than the other. I'll let you guess which one.
 
CTL--

I did actually raise this issue with my Dad. He responded by moving the car radios to the basement. I'm pretty sure they are still there.

Do you need a car radio?
 
Come on, Razorites! Surely, someone has a moonshine still, a meth lab or a marijuana plant! Fess up!
 
I like Anon 9:27. Want to come over and play video games with me sometime?

My garage contains:
at least three bikes (road, mountain, and hybrid), a
washing machine and dryer with clean semi-useless laundry piled atop (too boring to fold), and
the cat carriers and cute outfits my massive cat outgrew.
 
Prof.--

If I accept your fenced goods, would that make me a party to the crime?

Anon 12:29--

No Razorite will ever fess up...there's a code.
 
"cat outfits?"

What is a cat outfit?
 
-the sink formerly known as the missus' sink

-a 2006 Mercedes CLK 350 (still the missus')

-used motor oil

-my grandfather's titlist blade golf clubs from the 60s

-a whole lotta paint

-three bins for recyclables

-grass clippings (scattered) from 2009
 
jimmy hoffa.
sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh...
 
I have a moon shine still down in my back ravine. Seriously, the locals used our property long before we owned it to make their moon shine and the old barrels are still down there to prove it.

No adays we make our moonshine in the basement.
 
All of the broken appliances Dave doesn't want to throw away because we might be able to fix them.
 
Woody-- how was the Super Bowl? Will you write a report for the Razor?
 
Two cars. Snow shovels and associated materials. Garden hose. Firewood. Paint. Two frames to twin beds. A box of stuff I shipped myself from my dad's in 2004, but have never opened. Some of my wife's high school marching band trophies.
 
Woodworking and other tools

Gardening tools

Spare (used for parties) china, crystal, and silver.

Large cooking items - very small kitchen

backstock of TP, paper towels, cleaning supplies

cat box and cat carriers

Plants protected from the nasty freezing weather we've been having.

Camping equipment - lots and lots of camping stuff!

fishing equipment

no car - no room

Misc. computer cables, keyboards, etc.

and some other items that might be illegal or controversial in some universes that I won't enumerate for legal reasons.

Recycling

Lee
 
Lee--

Gambling equipment? Torture devices? Hustler Magazines from the 70's?
 
We don't have a garage, but we do have a storage room. In it you will find our luggage, Christmas and Halloween decor, wood stain, some crafting supplies (yarn, glue, paint, etc), a wrapped wedding present, 3 cases of Dr Pepper, an empty plastic hamper,a box of childhood photos (and a NASCAR replica), an air purifier, an old big trial notebook, a bag containing about 10 empty binders and half-used legal pads (can't throw them out -- might need paper one day), a large box of gardening tools and a bag of birdseed.
 
A band saw, a mitre a reciprocating saw, a table saw, a Mill, tons of wood, a Freezer, a Million other things to make guitars and a LOT - I mean a LOT of half finished guitars.
 
PS and do not forget alllll the sawdust.

Oh and IPLAW: Yes. Ginger dresses up her cats. All the time. Seriously.
 
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