Sunday, December 20, 2009

 

Sunday Reflection: Pain and Tinsel

I grew up in a family with great holidays. We were feasting people, and my parents did a wonderful job of making sure that our holidays stayed focused on joy, togetherness, sharing, and gratefulness. They also did a good job with their marriage, and provided us with a warm and stable home.

Because of that, the holidays will always be a happy time for me. However, I know that it is not for some people-- that many I am close to wish that they could just flip the calendar to January and skip over all of this. I usually do not fully understand why this is, but I do know it is true.

What is the best way to deal with those who do not want to celebrate the holidays? As a Christian, should I mute my own feelings in the presence of those who do not share my faith or joy?

Comments:
Here's something I'll never understand about you Christians -- your capacity for self-blaming and guilt feeling. I know you're called to imitate Jesus, but taking on the woes of the world was his job, not yours.

I think your response in celebrating the holidays should be to extend and create more joy, even in those of us that don't share your faith. Happiness is infective.
 
You should not mute your joy as this is a part of you. Be who you are! BUT - if you encounter someone who is not joyful about the holidays, understand their reasons and let them be.

By the way - my Mom received the 'ornament' yesteday - she loved it. Please tell your Mom!

p.s. Lane, I'm with you. I don't get it.
 
L & C--

What I feel isn't guilt. You both know me, and I'm not exactly a guilt-ridden person!

What it is, really, is a desire to not be the type of Christian who is arrogant in his faith. Christ does call us to humility, which is different than guilt.
 
I think if you are humble in your joy, which knowing you I would think you are that way already, then you should absolutely not mute your feelings. I also think you should listen and care about the feelings of those around you. As long as you are receptive of others I don't think there would be any reason why you yourself could not also enjoy your own sentiment about the season.
 
A Christian is arrogant in his faith if he assumes that faith entitles him to exclusivity in some way, that it privileges him above others. Even if you are an exclusivist theologically, and believe that only those that believe will attain the ultimate reward, the call to humility is that you are to make an example of yourself in that all are equal before God. There is no more Pharisee or Sadducee.

Do not be afraid of being "arrogant" by being joyful in your faith and your faith's ties to this season, especially if you are willing to share that joy with people who may not share it but are interested.
 
You are right - I do know you (for a long time) and I know you are not a guilt-ridden person. I have frequently been envious of your free spirit, wit, strong will, intelligence and good heart among other things.

That said, I think that in your Sunday Reflections you sometimes seem (searching for the right word and not sure if this is it) apologetic. It is your Sunday Reflection and we are cognizant of this. You make comments, observations or express yourself about your spirituality.

This times of year brings about emotional highs and lows in people for so many different reasons. There is such anticipation and anxiety tied to family gatherings. Joy is a wonderful feeling and many times these moments of joy are fleeting and rare in our lives. Please enjoy this feeling and try to infect us with this feeling - especially in this season of celebration.

MERRY CHRISTMAS MARK!
 
For years I dreaded the holidays but then I learned to enjoy them actually. Maybe it was when I had a child that I began to enjoy them the most. I could mope around thinking of alll the dysfunctional crap of my past but honestly? Why should I ? That time is gone and thinking about it today is just a waste in my opinion. It is hard to be all sad around kids. My kid is sooo crazy he keeps me going every minute.

I agree with Christine that you should leave the people be who do not want to celebrate I remember being melancholy at holidays and I what I hated most were the people who would try to drag me to stuff and all of that.
 
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