Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Dipping into the Razor Mailbag
Intriguingly, I get a number of emails from readers of the Razor (my work email is linked to the blog). Today I would like to publish a few of these, with responses.
Dear Pr. Olser,
I am reading you blog and thinking about things you say. Most of it is stupid. You should write about baseball, if you know about that. No one cares about panda beers.
[unsigned]
Dear Unsigned,
First of all, I think you expect too much of me. Apparently, you think I am the President (and an Olser), while in fact I am just a teacher. I will consider adding more content related to baseball, but that is not something I know much about. Meanwhile, people do care about pandas and beer, especially the residents of the Woodley Park neighborhood in Washington, D.C.
What's up with your hair? I think you need those Wacoan people to come take care of it.
Christine
Dear Christine,
The photo here actually shows me on a relatively good hair day. I suppose "hair" isn't high on my priority list. If I get it cut in Detroit, who do you recommend?
Prof. Osler,
I will not be in sentencing class today. I have to go talk to some guys about some stuff.
[name withheld]
Dear _______,
Oh! Given the nature of your appointment, I hope you understand that the "observation" I require involves watching a sentencing in court, not participating in an actual drug conspiracy. That said, if you do end up in the slammer, could you come back in 93-117 months and talk to the class about your experiences?
Comments:
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My apologies that my sentencing email got to you two years too late. You'll be happy to know that I was not at a drug deal, but rather an anti-RRL agitprop rally. We played hippie music, ate organic vegetables and contemplated the collapse of the capitalist regime.
Lane - how come I never get invited to one of those anti-me rallies? I would really enjoy sitting across the street in a lawn chair drinking Bud Light and watching the hippies pollute the air with their patchouli stink.
# posted by 
: 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
I think Osler's next topic should be what the signs would say at both rallies!
# posted by : 10:19 AM
: 10:19 AM
RRL, we send invitations by US mail. On patchouli scented recycled paper created by companies that buy carbon offsets. You didn't get them?
To "unsigned":
Pandas are obviously a national interest. A search on MSNBC.com resulted in 2,580,0000 links. I am not sure how many are releated to beer, though.
Pandas are obviously a national interest. A search on MSNBC.com resulted in 2,580,0000 links. I am not sure how many are releated to beer, though.
# posted by : 11:08 AM
: 11:08 AM
Oh, how humiliating! Making fun of someone's spelling and then "releated!" I guess we are all just a keystroke away from what we criticize.
# posted by : 11:11 AM
: 11:11 AM
Nope, didn't get mine. Of course, given the company you're relying upon to print out the invitations, I don't find that all that surprising.
# posted by : 11:35 AM
: 11:35 AM
Anon--
I just figured out you were referring to your own comment, not my post-- I searched and searched for "Releated!" D'oh.
I just figured out you were referring to your own comment, not my post-- I searched and searched for "Releated!" D'oh.
Ahhh, yes, I remember fondly that anti-RRL rally. It was glorious.
One of the best yet, in fact.
I will be hosting similar rallies every evening between now and Christmas.
It's an annual tradition we like to call "The 8 days of Anti-RRL."
One of the best yet, in fact.
I will be hosting similar rallies every evening between now and Christmas.
It's an annual tradition we like to call "The 8 days of Anti-RRL."
# posted by : 12:04 PM
: 12:04 PM
Wow - I made the mistake of showing Cosby your picture. He said it makes him look like a master barber for cutting his own hair with a little help from me.
2 suggestions in Detroit:
Rick the Barber (not my brother) in the old First Fed building in downtown Detroit. The other is Toby in a barber shop at 9 mile & Jefferson. Both come highly recommended by my relatives with hair. If you go downtown you can take a spin on the ice rink across the street.
2 suggestions in Detroit:
Rick the Barber (not my brother) in the old First Fed building in downtown Detroit. The other is Toby in a barber shop at 9 mile & Jefferson. Both come highly recommended by my relatives with hair. If you go downtown you can take a spin on the ice rink across the street.
"I would pay more money than I'm willing to publicly disclose for a beer that's made from panda."
This has to be the most troubling comment made on the Razor. And strangely makes me want to hang out with Justin more.
This has to be the most troubling comment made on the Razor. And strangely makes me want to hang out with Justin more.
# posted by : 2:58 PM
: 2:58 PM
OF COURSE RLL wants to attend one of the Anti-RLL rallies. HE LOVES Hippie music. A bunch of aging folk rockers doing their old tunes and claiming they're part of the "Americana" movement. His toes will be tapping.
IPLawguy loves hippie music. Specifically, he already bought tickets for next year's Lilith Fair music festival, in hopes that he can still fit into his sundress and dance out to the blissful tunes of the Indigo Girls...
Hippie...
Hippie...
# posted by : 5:28 PM
: 5:28 PM
Aren't we forgetting the spirit of this hippie season, when three Iranian sorcerers crossed the desert to bring gifts of far-out incense, groovy scented oils, and some trippy, sparkly jewelry, all for a wee babe sleeping au naturale outside in communion with nature.
Lane--
You're forgetting the Man and his corporation, who, like, killed all those kids but the little man and his, like, mother were having a totally psychedelic time in Egypt, what with all those pyramids and giant flying turtles and total peace with all of God's creations and things, they got away from all the negative energy pulses coming from, like, the Roman Empire, man.
Prof. Osler--
What is the origin of the odd hand-pinching motion that you make in those photos of you teaching? Conductor of the Waco Philharmonic? Finger-snapper at beat poetry house? Catch flies with your fingers, a la The Karate Kid?
You're forgetting the Man and his corporation, who, like, killed all those kids but the little man and his, like, mother were having a totally psychedelic time in Egypt, what with all those pyramids and giant flying turtles and total peace with all of God's creations and things, they got away from all the negative energy pulses coming from, like, the Roman Empire, man.
Prof. Osler--
What is the origin of the odd hand-pinching motion that you make in those photos of you teaching? Conductor of the Waco Philharmonic? Finger-snapper at beat poetry house? Catch flies with your fingers, a la The Karate Kid?
I just hope RLL agrees that ABBA has NO right to be even considered for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
(and I am not so sure about Genesis either).
Iggy and the Stooges, however, RULE!
(and I am not so sure about Genesis either).
Iggy and the Stooges, however, RULE!
Micah,
To the best of my knowledge the Prof is not Italian. Therefore he has not learned the fine art of speaking with ones hands. Had he spent time in the households of some of our fine mafiosa neighbors...
Oh wait - the conductor thing makes sense now. That combined with the hair. A closet orchestral conductor.
To the best of my knowledge the Prof is not Italian. Therefore he has not learned the fine art of speaking with ones hands. Had he spent time in the households of some of our fine mafiosa neighbors...
Oh wait - the conductor thing makes sense now. That combined with the hair. A closet orchestral conductor.
Alex,
I'm sure Phil Collins and his lounge act would be very nice background music at a mall or an old folks home. But they never rocked.. with or without Peter Gabriel.
I'm sure Phil Collins and his lounge act would be very nice background music at a mall or an old folks home. But they never rocked.. with or without Peter Gabriel.
hey Speaking of beers Did you know that Go is now being overrun by coyotes? My friend Frank told me OMG! I thought if GP fell it would be to the raccoons. I guess they are coming from Canada.
Tyd - does that mean the lake has frozen over? or or they migrating from the U.P.?
Hope you are well - you have been silent as of late.
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Hope you are well - you have been silent as of late.
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