Monday, October 19, 2009

 

And her son, Elvis.


I received the following email last week:

Dear Beloved One,

Greetings to you and your family in the name of God. In my search for a reliable and God fearing person and having gotten your contact through prayers and pains taking efforts via searching I made on the internet on my bed side. Presently, I'm in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for Esophagi Cancer.

Though it’s a sad and long story but I will cut it short for your quick and easy understanding. I am Anna Ilouba (Mrs.) widow to Late Mr. Edward Ilouba, former Defense attached to Greece Embassy in Cote d’Ivoire. My husband was murdered alongside our only son Elvis by those who are envious of his position in the same office..

Before his death he made a vow to use his wealth for the down trodden, orphanages and the less privileged in the society. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a God fearing person who will use this money to assist the poor persons, orphanages, widows as I have earlier stated.

I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband’s relatives are not inclined to helping poor persons and I do not want my husband's hard earned money to be misused or spent in an ungodly manner. What I required is your honesty, trust and sincerity. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for another individual for this same purpose.
Remain Blessed.
Anna Ilouba (Mrs).

Here are some questions I have, and would welcome any answers you all might provide:

1) What would count as spending money in an "ungodly manner?"

2) Why did the Greek embassy attach a defense?

3) Assuming that "esophagi" is the plural of "esophagus," would it be possible to live with two esophagi?

# posted by Mark Osler @ 9:34 AM
Comments:
Did you write back yet? If so, tell her you are sorry to hear that Elvis died.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 9:51 AM
 
It sucks having cancer in your one esophagus, let alone BOTH!
# posted by Blogger Jessica : 10:14 AM
 
THIS IS THE KIND OF SOCIALISM OBAMA IS PROMOTING AROUND THE WORLD, WHERE WE ARE EXPECTED TO GIVE MONEY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE POOR JUST BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT TO WORK. I AM NOT SURPRISED THAT THE LETTER IS FROM AFRICA, BECAUSE OBAMA IS A CITIZEN OF AFRICA, AND NOT THE UNITED STATES. THE GOVERNMENT IS SUPPRESSING HIS REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE, JUST LIKE THEY SUPPRESS PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SPEAK THE TRUTH AT TOWN MEETINGS, OR WHO WANT TO BE TEABAGGERS.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 11:11 AM
 
1. Maybe, say, having it stolen by an identity thief posing as a widow and, coincidentally, mother of Elvis? Just a hypothetical.

2. Don't ask me.

3. I currently don't know of any creatures that have two esophagi, but, then again, I'm not a doctor (I just play one on TV).
# posted by Blogger Micah : 11:11 AM
 
So Elvis wasn't dead, at least not until recently, when he was killed due to political intrigue in the Greek Embassy in the Ivory Coast.

There is much to learn on the Razor.
# posted by Anonymous c : 11:14 AM
 
hey man, like, this guy sounds like a really good guy man. like, sounds like he wanted to help the people man, the poor people. you know, like he wanted to stop the oppression man, and rage against the machine. i like this cat man, sounds like a cool dude.

i don't think you should let all these, like, fascist thugs stop you from helping the people man. write her back, save the planet, hug a tree.
# posted by Anonymous lower case hippie : 11:46 AM
 
It's funny... "lower case hippie" talks just like RRL when he's making fun of hippies. Small world.
# posted by Blogger EBC4 : 1:17 PM
 
EBC4 - I am confident that you have better things to do with your time than compare my syntax to that of a fictional hippie with a poor understanding of capital letters. Or, maybe this explains the issue we had at our last practice...
# posted by Anonymous RRL : 2:36 PM
 
Well played, Coach.
# posted by Blogger EBC4 : 3:28 PM
 
At least the lower case hippie wasn't 'SCREAMING'.

3. According to Miriam Webster: esophagi. plural of esophagus. I suppose you could be some genetically malformed human with 2 stomachs and therefore need 2 esophagi. Perhaps Siamese twins gone wrong in utero?

2. We have US Military attached to our embassy's, why can't the Greeks?

1. This would depend on one's morals and their individual definition of 'ungodly'.

And perhaps Mr. Osler should contact the author and ask for real answers. Only to be revealed when he provides his bank account.
# posted by Blogger Christine : 3:32 PM
 
Micah,

That ad hasn't been on TV since LONG, LONG before you were born. A person your age making fun of Mark Harmon is like me and Prof. re-using likes from radio shows like Fibber McGee & Molly and the Jack Benny Show.

Please find your own cultural references!
# posted by Blogger IPLawguy : 4:08 PM
 
"Cultural reference"? Really?

I was actually the star of the short-lived NBC reality/comedy show "Teenage Surgeon (Featuring Real Live Patients)"! If the FCC hadn't fined us, I bet we could have had our license renewed!
# posted by Blogger Micah : 7:33 PM
 
Good work, Christine! My hunch was correct.

Several years ago, a doctor told me (I thought) that her specialty was octo-laryngology, which I assumed involved the treatment of people with 8 larynxes.
# posted by Blogger Mark Osler : 7:53 PM
 
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