Tuesday, June 02, 2009

 

Hummer finds a "buyer"- and real men drive a school bus


Apparently, GM has reached an agreement to sell Hummer, the maker of gigantic SUVs. GM will not disclose the buyer or the price.

I suspect that the price is something close to $0.00. Would anyone venture a guess as to who the buyer might be?

Comments:
My guesses are:

1) DONUT or Boogie
2) A random group of first grader who were able to pool $12.34 from their weekly allowances.
3) 7th and James Baptist Church's youth group, who plan to use the large stock of unsold H1s and H3s to transport their own personal libraries to San Juan, TX for Mission Trip
4) Professor Larry T. Bates, to add even more to his "fleet".
 
My guess is a defense contractor; probably one that Cheney, Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz are heavily invested in or the Carlysle Group.
 
Sarah Palin. Hummers are great for night-time mobile moose hunts in what was once the Alaska perma-frost but now, alas, because of the Global Warming that doesn't exist, is perma-slush.
Bob
 
A panda? Moving from corn-based ethanol to ceullolisic bamboo-based schmethanol.
 
You know, I sorta need a 4WD vehicle to get to the prime fishing spots on the island. I'm sad that the Hummer won't be part of the People's Glorious Revolutionary Auto Fleet, but maybe I'll pick one up to use as my beachcomber.
 
It turns out that China bought Hummer, so it could be that the People's Glorious Revolutionary Auto Fleet will include Hummers.
 
My guess is the govt bought them. Or Donut.
 
Clearly it was Saudi Arabia. That way, they can continue to market the Giant Rolling Tanks of Inefficiency to the few stupid Americans who bought them. Then they can subsidize the tank's poor performance with increased oil profits. Brilliant! I wish I had thought of it.


Love,
Matt
 
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