Tuesday, February 17, 2009

 

Top Five Breakfast Cereals


In order of quality, the top five cereals for aspiring lawyers:

1) Alpha-bits
2) Honey-Nut Cheerios
3) Frosted Flakes
4) Regular Cheerios
5) Total

The six worst:

124) Organic O's
125) Count Chocula
126) Quisp
127) Mr. T
128) Shredded wheat
129) Lucky Charms

[Note: Ratings based on a survey of one person, me]

Comments:
Shredded wheat? No way, that stuff is awesome.

I totally have to find a Mr. T cereal now. It should still be good, right? I mean, how many organic compounds can it have?

Also, while I agree that Count Chocula is terrible, at least we can all come to the consensus that Boo Berry is the ontologically-superior cereal.
 
What about Grapenuts? Neither grapes nor nuts... should have been named "Healthpellets."
 
shredded wheat - bad
FROSTED shredded wheat - GREAT

Do you have something against the fruit-flavored family of breakfast foods? Fruity Pebbles? Fruit Loops?

And the most glaring omission - Lucky freakin' Charms.
 
Absolutely, Lucky Charms rock . . .
And when I was a kid there was this cereal with these big fake red "berries" . . . maybe it was Cap'n Crunch with Berries?


My list now would include:
Oatmeal Squares
Anything with fruit and nuts
 
Oops-- you are right. I forgot Lucky Charms. Fixed it...
 
Hey - I love health pellets with some fresh fruit. They taste even better if you cook them up like oatmeal.

My favorite growing up was Honey Combs, but we only got to eat them at my Grandma's.

My parent's did not buy sugar coated cereal until the advent of Golden Grahams. I think because my mother liked to snack on them dry.

We were a Rice Krispie, Corn Flake, Wheaties and Puffed Rice family until then.
 
If this was like Highlander and there could be only one, then that one would be Honey Nut Cheerios. With banana slices included. Best cereal ever.
 
Lucky Charms is N-A-S-T-Y, Nasty.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch...I could eat a whole box in one sitting!
 
Mmmm. Golden Grahams, too.
 
Osler, there doesn't seem to be much sense to rating Alpha-bits #1 and Mr. T cereal close to last, when Mr. T cereal was basically just Alpha-bits with only the letter "T."
 
Aren't there any cereals made with real pandas?
 
Golden grahams are the best.
 
What about Quake? It was made out of rocks and had a mining theme.
 
Have you *seen* fiber one?

As if the word "fiber" wasn't enough to conjure up the ultimate end, "Best Life" Corp. decided to illustrate.
 
They should call it "Fiber 2." Fiber 1 would come out differently.
 
Best cereal advertised by SNL: Super Colon Blow.
 
Ew. Is that what happens when you get a colon massage at that place out on Waco Dr.?
 
Ha ha, the comments above are great. And Lucky Charms are awesome, ftr. Oooh and frosted mini wheats rock too!
 
I like Captain Crunch. But I always feel kind of sick after I eat it. But then, I really have not had it since like 1982. My mother would not buy cereal when I was growing up. She made me have Carnation Instant Breakfast. Gross, but I ate it because she told me that the Bionic Woman had it every day.

I grew up believing that, and now have passed my neurosis onto a new generation, every time I tell Spencer that his carrots are "magic carrots" that were grown especially for him, so that he could become a great swimmer.

How sad is that? I wish my kid had some with some kind of a manual.

We do not buy cereal for Spencer. He eats peanut butter toast for Breakfast.
 
I'll bet the Mr. T stickers tasted as good as the cereal...
 
Let's not forget about KABOOM.

http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/box722.jpg
 
Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. end of discussion
 
Oops, you forgot America's least favorite cereal, Frosted Shreddy Wheats! They're a knock off brand by Malt-o-Meal that we have sitting around the house. They taste like what cardboard probably tastes like when it's shredded, glued together, and soaked in milk.

Yeah, not very good.

Oh yeah, and I eat a mixture of Alpha-Bits, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Apple Cinnamon Cheerios whenever I can. The milk tastes awful afterward (cinnamon, honey, nuts, apples, and letters all mixed together), but it's good while it lasts.
 
I just had the best idea ever for a cereal!

Today, my friends and I tasted the glazed carrots that our school server for the first time ever, and they were awful. At first, they tasted sorta like glazed donuts, but as soon as you actually bit into the carrot, it tasted just like what glazed donuts, horse manure, and possibly some extremely acidic herbicide would taste like mixed together.

This inspired me to think up my own cereal idea, Glazed Vegetably-Os! They would be made out of the glazed carrots and would be compressed into rings, which you would then soak in milk (they would be freeze-dried, so they would expand in milk, just like a kind-of-healthy carrot-based Lucky Charms) and eat!

I might market them as "Healthy-Tastic!".
 
C'mon -- what about Raisin Bran!?!?!

Two scoops of raisins are the reason...
 
My top 5 favorite cereals, in no particular order:

-Honeycomb
-Cookie Crisp
-Count Chocula
-Cocoa Crisp
-King Vitamin
 
King Vitamin??? Really? Yuck.
 
Anonymous-

King Vitamin is a nostalgia thing more than a taste thing.
 
Micah,

Your parents need to make you finish that old box of shredded Wheat. It has magical powers to pass along.
 
Ha ha-- "pass along." LOL
 
Is King Vitamin the goofy brother of King Diamond?
 
Honey Bunches of Oats, (with almonds). The combination of granola, flakes, and almonds is a flavor explosion. I suggest adding banana slices. I have been known to eat at a box-a-day pace.

-kirker
 
"Healthpellets". Now there's a cereal that nobody would buy, even if it was factually correct. I really don't see what's so appealing about grapes and nuts mixed together, either.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

#