Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Book Recommendation and joke contest
In the course of researching my own book, I read the recently-recovered gnostic Gospel of Judas. There was one section of that book which particularly jumped out at me:
One day he was with his disciples in Judea, and he found them gathered together and seated in pious observance. When he approached his disciples, gathered together and seated and offering a prayer of thanksgiving over the bread, he laughed.
Jesus then explains that he was laughing because they seem to see their prayer as being their own will rather than that of God-- in other words, they were being pompous about it. That tiny slice of life, Jesus's laughter, seemed so real to me, and fitting with the life described in the Canonical gospels. Let's face it, a bunch of guys traveling around together-- there is going to be some laughter.
My hero of writing, Bob Darden, has written a wonderful book about Christianity and humor titled Jesus Laughed: The Redemptive Power of Humor. (The link will send you to Amazon, where you can and should buy the book). Fittingly, it's not a heavy read, but still full of well-told stories and important insights, and an overarching message that we shouldn't define laughter, humor and joy out of our faith, as they are a vital part of what can make faith real and whole.
It's a great book. It does contain one Quaker joke:
"A Quaker is trying to harness his lone mule to plow a rocky field. The donkey bites him. The Quaker tries again. The donkey kicks him in the stomach. Finally the man harnesses the donkey, which runs the plow over the Quaker's foot. Pushed beyond human endurance, the gentle Quaker limps around to the donkey's face and says, 'Thou knowest I shall not strike thee, friend ass. Thou knowest I shall not curse thee, either. But what thou doesn't know is that I can sell thee to the Southern Baptist down the road.'"
Which brings us to the joke contest. Enter your joke (of an non-crude type) below in the comments section. The winner will receive a toy of my choosing. (he he).
Comments:
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Why was Jesus born in a manger?
Because of a failure to provide universal health care.
Because of a failure to provide universal health care.
# posted by 
: 10:55 AM
: 10:55 AM
Three men, an American, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are walking down the beach in some distant land. They come upon a shiny lamp, and one of the men picks it up and rubs it. Suddenly a genie appears and says, "You have released me from the lamp! I will grant each one of you one wish."
The American goes first and says, "I just wish I could be back in America with my friends and family." The Genie says "your wish is granted" and snaps his fingers and the American man disappears.
The Frenchman says, "I wish that all of the non-French people were removed from France, and that a giant wall was built all around France so that nobody can get in, and nobody can get out, so that we can live without all of you silly foreigners." The genie says "your wish is granted" and snaps his fingers and the Frenchman disappears.
The Englishmen looks at the Genie and says, "there is a huge wall around France, right?"
"Yes" replies the Genie.
"And nobody can get in and nobody can get out, right?" says the Englishman.
"Yes" says the Genie.
The Englishman says, "Fill it with water."
The American goes first and says, "I just wish I could be back in America with my friends and family." The Genie says "your wish is granted" and snaps his fingers and the American man disappears.
The Frenchman says, "I wish that all of the non-French people were removed from France, and that a giant wall was built all around France so that nobody can get in, and nobody can get out, so that we can live without all of you silly foreigners." The genie says "your wish is granted" and snaps his fingers and the Frenchman disappears.
The Englishmen looks at the Genie and says, "there is a huge wall around France, right?"
"Yes" replies the Genie.
"And nobody can get in and nobody can get out, right?" says the Englishman.
"Yes" says the Genie.
The Englishman says, "Fill it with water."
# posted by : 11:50 AM
: 11:50 AM 
A Jewish rabbi, a catholic priest, and a presbyterian minister all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
# posted by : 3:56 PM
: 3:56 PM
OK I got a couple:
Q: What do you call someone else's cheese?
A: Nacho Cheese
A man and his buddies are drinking. Another man approaches them and says "I bet you $5 I can jump out the window and the wind will push me back inside". The men don't believe him, and take the bet. The stranger jumps out the (5th story) window, and sure enough, the wind pushes him back inside. The men pay him his money, and one man says "That was cool!! I want to try it!!". With the stranger's encouragement, he jumps out the window...and falls five stories. The bartender just shakes his head and mumbles "Boy, superman sure is mean when he's been drinking"
Q: What do you call someone else's cheese?
A: Nacho Cheese
A man and his buddies are drinking. Another man approaches them and says "I bet you $5 I can jump out the window and the wind will push me back inside". The men don't believe him, and take the bet. The stranger jumps out the (5th story) window, and sure enough, the wind pushes him back inside. The men pay him his money, and one man says "That was cool!! I want to try it!!". With the stranger's encouragement, he jumps out the window...and falls five stories. The bartender just shakes his head and mumbles "Boy, superman sure is mean when he's been drinking"
Here's a math problem to change the pace a bit:
Q) John lives in New York City. His best friend is Jim, who lives in Seattle. John decides to go visit Jim. He sets out from New York City at 8:30 AM at 175 miles per hour. Jim then decides to go visit John. He sets out from Seattle at 10:45 AM at 230 miles per hour. Assuming that both John and Jim ignore all road signs, yield signs, and other things that may hinder his progress, and mantain the same speed that they were going when they left, where will John and Jim meet? Class, you have five minutes to answer this question.
Answer: Probably in prison.
Q) John lives in New York City. His best friend is Jim, who lives in Seattle. John decides to go visit Jim. He sets out from New York City at 8:30 AM at 175 miles per hour. Jim then decides to go visit John. He sets out from Seattle at 10:45 AM at 230 miles per hour. Assuming that both John and Jim ignore all road signs, yield signs, and other things that may hinder his progress, and mantain the same speed that they were going when they left, where will John and Jim meet? Class, you have five minutes to answer this question.
Answer: Probably in prison.
# posted by : 5:57 PM
: 5:57 PM
Two penguins are standing on an ice flow, and one says to the other,"It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo."
And the other answers, "How do you know I'm not?
And the other answers, "How do you know I'm not?
Doctor calls his patient and says, "Mr. Smith, I have some bad news and some worse news." Mr. Smith says, "Well, give me the bad news first." The doc says, "You have 24 hours to live." Mr. Smith says, "Oh, no! What could possibly be worse than that?"
The doc says, "I forgot to call you yesterday."
The doc says, "I forgot to call you yesterday."
liberaldespoticterrorist,
I commend your use of Mr. Justice Brennan's image.
If we get one more person using a Supreme Court justice, maybe Osler will let us judge a competition.
I commend your use of Mr. Justice Brennan's image.
If we get one more person using a Supreme Court justice, maybe Osler will let us judge a competition.
b, it is just that way because of my last name. I think there will have to be someone that either loves the Supreme Court or shares a last name with a certain Justice.
Actual conversation:
Me: "Seriously, I still know people in Detroit. Maybe I'd send the ATF after you."
Liberaldespoticterrorist (LDT): "But, I don't have a gun..."
Me: "Yeah, well, there's still Alcohol and Tobacco."
LDT: "Ohhhhh... oh no."
Me: "Seriously, I still know people in Detroit. Maybe I'd send the ATF after you."
Liberaldespoticterrorist (LDT): "But, I don't have a gun..."
Me: "Yeah, well, there's still Alcohol and Tobacco."
LDT: "Ohhhhh... oh no."
haha that was funny. I actually really appreciate what you said. It made me realize that it isn't so serious with the whole scholarsip thing.
My biggest concern was that you wouldn't suggest sticking with crim law and doing the internship.
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My biggest concern was that you wouldn't suggest sticking with crim law and doing the internship.
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