Wednesday, August 13, 2008

 

Can't we just let them fight?


Ok, it can't be just me thinking this...

I stayed up last night watching the Olympic women's gymnastics final (the team competition). NBC, naturally, focused on the competition between the US team and the Chinese "women," who were the two favorites.

Here's the deal: The Chinese looked like they had an average age of about 11, a weight around 50 pounds, and an odd affection for unicorns. Though they are incredible athletes, they looked so young and frail-- especially with the bizarre eye make-up.

On the other hand, the US team looked really, well, tough. They looked like women who you might see hanging around outside a bar, smoking, very late at night. They actually looked like women, albeit women who are carrying not only a gun but probably a knife.

Which, when it got close, made me want to let them duke it out with the Chinese. It's probably the hockey player in me that thinks this is just a natural turn of events...

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Comments:
It's probably not just the hockey fan in you, but also the prosecutor, that wants to see the Olympic sport of shanking.

Until hockey in 2010, looks like you'll have to settle for pugilism and judo.
 
Don't let Shawn Johnson's dazzling smile fool you. If given the chance, she would gladly pull the back of another gymnast's jersey over her head and beat her senseless. It's happened before, so I hear.
 
Maybe it's the hockey fan in you :)

I agree, the difference in how the 2 teams looked was pretty extreme, and those Chinese girls look kind of unhealthy to me . . . but that's why the last thing I'd imagine is them duking it out. Those Chinese girls look too frail . . . those US girls had big necks, to be so young!

I'm not diminishing their abilities at all, of course. I could never in a million years do all the athletic stuff that they do.

For me, it's easy to get sucked into watching the gymnastics because it's stuff that most mortals can't imagine doing, i.e the training, the tumbling, or even wearing those outfits . . . the swimming's great to watch (for me anyway) because I find it a little easier to identify with.
 
Alicia Sacramone has a mean left hook:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QA6s7p-zU8
 
I think there are laws in China prohibiting 12 year olds from fighting. Wait, I meant 16 year olds. My bad.
 
So, Oz... what you really want is Tonya Harding to be on the US gymnastics team.

But that begs the question: Tonya back in the day, or Tonya now? Back in the day, she'd have kicked butt; today, she'd have to waddle over & sit on the Chinese team.
 
I disagree completely with the claims that two of the Chinese gymnasts are 14. They look MUCH younger than that. When one of the U.S.A. gymnasts finally cracks and beats the Chinese to pisces, will it be considered assault or child abuse?
 
Oops. I mean pieces, not pisces. Actually, I think that was the first time that I've actually spelled pisces correctly.
 
Ok the US women look like waitresses at a bowling alley, or maybe some kind of chicks that might hand out at a biker bar. They look like they are packing, and would knife you if you looked at them the wrong way. I am sorry, but they scare me, and I was sort of happy that the little Chinese team, comprised of 8 year old Hello Kitty dolls, kicked their heavily eyelined butts.

Even though I am a figure skating fan, I still do not fully understand the entire gymnastics etiquette and protocol. At the end of their routines - they maybe had just finished you know - doing six flips in the air and landing on ONE FOOT on a 4 inch balance beam that is three feet off the air - would it KILL THEM to get a little EXCITED? Instead they walk off after their weird fake wave and bow thing, and then give fake and perfunctory hugs and air kisses to their dismissive coaches and apathetic team mates...
I don't get it.

If I could even do one handstand I would be jumping for joy...

I just don't get it. You don't have to cry so much, like in figure skating, but you don't have to act like you are full of sodium pentathol either.
 
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