Monday, June 23, 2008

 

Sign of the Times (Bad, bad times)


For about a week now, the Applebee's on Valley Mills Rd. in Waco has had a sign out front saying "New ick n Pair." Now, I understand that it is a mistake (or sabotage by those guys from Chili's), but shouldn't someone maybe head on out to the sign, at least to take the word "ick" off of the restaurant's marquee?

That's not the funniest I have seen, though.

The second funniest was from my childhood in Detroit, when there was a billboard near the intersection of I-75 and I-94 for a bread company. It was lit in neon, and usually said "Bunny Bread-- It's Good!" That is, until the "d" burned out, at which point it said "Bunny Bread-- It's Goo!" Which, if you are 10, is the funniest thing in the whole world.

The best ever, though, was right here in Waco. Before they remodeled the McDonald's near campus, they had an changeable sign facing the I-35 service road. One day, advertising a new burger, it said "Try the New Big n' Tasty-- 99 cents!" Then someone messed with it. The next day it read "Try the New Big nasty-- 99 cents!"

I still kind of wish that a fast-food place would be honest enough to call one of its burgers the "Big Nasty."

Comments:
I think I know what giblets are.... they are those gross things I used to pick out of the gravy on Thanksgiving and secretly feed to the cat. I mean ewwwww you know? My mother insisted it gave the gravy flavor but EWWW there are other ways to get flavor. Like just get a JAR of gravy. Eww.

Anyway.

But what is a GRUNNIE? Hey, 'you all,' if this is going to be a million replies about "How can you not know what a grunnie is." just like when I did not know what SKUNGE was.... well what can I say? I am not from Texas.
 
What is "Skunge?"
 
I think McAlister's has a sandwich called the Big Nasty.
 
Tyd,

Its "y'all" not "you all".

And of course the plural is "all y'all".

I lived in the Carolinas for 12 years and I believe Texans and Carolinians (along with two thirds of the rest of the country) share this coloquialism.

I've noticed the "Southern drawl" has crept northward. Perhaps on the heels of country "music" and Nascar.

I find it interesting when politicians adopt the phrasing and accent of whatever regional audience they may be addressing. Personally, I can forgive this for the most part. When talking with my patients in North Carolina I found them to be much more at ease if I relaxed my midwestern TV news anchor tone. When in Rome...

As for signs...

Detroit "party stores" were notorious for advertising "melk $1.89/gal".
 
Two signs:

Here in Austin the neon went out at Longhorn Meat butchre shop. Result: Long Meat.

At a trcuk stop in East Texas that, presumably, had a new batch of pecans and started selling propane:
Fresh Nuts
We now have Gas!

These are the funninest things ever even if you're 30.
 
Oh, I forgot this one (and I have mentioned it here before)-- perhaps my all-time favorite sign was at a ski area in Southern Indiana that said:

Liquor
Lotto
Cigs
SKI WORLD!


It just seemed so... un-ski-like.
 
Southern Indiana sounds pretty un ski like all by itself.
 
... and the sign said "Beer, bait, and ammo" ...
 
Great blog for the day many of us are remembering a great wordsmith passing. On my way back from Beaumont Sunday, I saw a sign at a church that said
"WHAT'S MISSING INSIDE OUR CH CH?
UR"
I passed by leaving the void. Then, less than an hour I saw a sign that said,
"WELCOME TO WHATAB GER.
WHAT'S MISSING?
UR."
I stopped and got a burger. My void was filled.
 
What? Bates died again?
 
In San Antonio, a guy got into trouble for putting up non-regulation billboards and was prohibited from advertising during the litigation so he put up a photo of a fat, hairy guy taking a dump. Actually, there were three of them from different angles and they were displayed on a very active interstate. Not a misspelling/grammatical thing, but I thought it was a funny way to stick it to the man and a few hundred thousand commuters per day.

-Joe
 
Prof. Olser: Any prediction as to the Nuge's position on sentencing guidelines? Perhaps you should challenge him to a debate - on sentencing or any other issue. I would drive down from Dallas...
 
Sign at Jasper BBQ Joint: "You can't beat our meat!"

I wouldn't even want to try...
 
All Y'all:

Thank you for the advice but I still do not know what a Grunnie is.

I am pretty sure Skunge is Marijuana. As in, "Duuude, I got so baked last night on skunge I ate grunnies and giblets."

I get harassed daily from my husband and my friends here in Oregon about my Michigan Accent. Apparently I say the word Mom and Box so that they come out sounding really nasal like the letter O in "Bob". or "rocks" so Mom= MAHM Box = BAHX

They make fun of me constantly about this. However, the word for "expensive" in Oregon is "SPENDY," which has to be the stupidest word EVER.

As in, "I was gonna buy you a big BAHX of skunge for your birthday, but it was too spendy. So I borrowed money from my MAHM."
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Back in Pine Bush, there was an Agway sign with removable letters located about 4 feet off the ground--the perfect height for middle schoolers to mess with. One night the Agway people put on the sign "50 Lbs Red Wood Shavings" and under that "Cat Litter" (with prices). The next morning, the sign read "50 Lbs Rat Shit". My brother finally admitted to doing it 5 years later.
 
Hey, is that the brother who took the gun to school and then got on all the game shows?
 
One and the same...although he didn't get on any game shows (at least that I know of)
 
How else would you say Mom or Box? Or coffee for that matter?
 
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