Friday, February 29, 2008

 

Haiku Friday: Election edition!


Something amazing is going on around here (besides two poetry contests in a row on the Razor). For the first time in a long time, a Texas presidential primary actually matters. The major candidates are swarming Texas with ads and appearances (Waco, however, is getting only Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris). Excitement and meaningless verbiage fills the air!

And still, there is haiku. Here are this week's themes:

1) Mike Gravel
2) Other candidates
3) Roger Clemens
4) Cake
5) PC exercises begin again
6) Teen Angst (now in haiku!)
7) Airplane etiquette
8) Larry Craig hiring interns
9) The kid in the picture in the preceeding post
10) Coffee

Here is mine:

Standing amid graves
Face white, hair black, looking tough
Is it boy or girl?

Now you get a turn. Please make it a 5 syllable/7 syllable/5 syllable kind of thing.

Love,
Mark

Comments:
We saw Cake play live
Festival; opening acts,
Cake came on way late

I do not pee slaw
Nor can I link to websites
Must crush evil clone
 
Work for Larry Craig!
Wide (political) stance a plus.
Apply in third stall.
 
What? JUST Chuck Norris?
Everyone Say Your Goodbyes -
Oslers Roundhoused.
 
Hello, Mr. Norris!
See your three-hole punch? Sure!
Ow ow ow ow ow!
 
Hillary's here too
Tearing, cheering and jeering
Looking human-ish
 
Chuck versus Coco:
I have Common Grounds' support.
Chucky has no chance!

I'm a little tea-
pot at Common Grounds; here is
my snickerdoodle.

If Bill thinks Texas
is part of Mexico, I'll
throw tacos at her.

Larry Craig poop boobs gah
crap dung excrement pooper
airplane bathroom what?

Mike Gravel is nuts
Everyone knows that bunnies
Are smarter than him.

Vote Coco for Prez!
Or else I'll eat your face off!
Like a beef taco!
 
Eating beef tacos?
Bite the head off first! Oh, wait-
That is for bunnies.
 
The advert was clear,
"Wanted, foot-tapping interns."
I'll pass, Senator.

The advert was clear,
"Our candidate is the best."
I only trust Chuck.

The ad, insincere.
"K-Life! Be part of the crowd!"
That crowd's too crowded.

The ad drew my cheers.
Free coffee at common grounds!
Starbucks can kiss it.
 
Hi! My name is Bruce!
I'm here for the internship!
That's my "cubicle?"
 
Creepy Goth children
Stay out of my damn yard, kids!
Makeup hurts plantings.
 
I *heart* Huckabee!!
And Chuck Norris campaigning?
What else do you need?!
 
Cake, "easy as," you say
Huh. What the hell does that mean?
"Easy as fast food"'s better.
 
Oh Hillary you,
Make Roger Clemons look like,
Androgenous teen.
 
If I vote for Hil
you think we would get Bill? Naah
Too Risky - Pres. Hil.

You seriously
think that old guy was tapping
secret code for sex??

It Seems Unlikely...
but then, you never know, right?
Bad Gayar, TranDar.

I see a guy in
a dress, I think, "Oh, She's just really athletic."

Bill: "Are you INSANE?
You can't tell that was a GUY??"
Me: "Wow!! Pilates WORKS!!!"

Speaking of Trannies...
(Not that we were) Chris is OUT.
Might have been the HAIR.

Jillian, Rami,
Christian are the final three.
I vote for Rami.

All three are great. Love
Jillian, but her clothes WEIRD.
Christian SO funny.

What is Chuck Norris
running for? Texas Ranger?
I vote for Tim Gunn.

President Tim Gunn:
New uniforms for Armed Forces,
Judges get new robes.

Pres Tim Gunn headline:
"Gunn tells Congress: "Make it Work.
And this carpet sucks."
 
Just the same coffee
I leave it, come back to it--
Damn diuretic.
 
Hillary's rally was
Only second best at 2;
But you know that, huh?
 
Libertarian!
Democrat? Republican?
What's the diff'rence, man?
 
Teen Angst: coming soon.
My daughter will be thirteen;
I'll be up the creek!
 
Goth person: If Girl
its EYE liner, If Male its
called GUY Liner. Wow.
 
9) It's not that I'm sad.
I'm really just a fan of
shade and high contrast.

10) Coffee addiction
is my reason for watching
Celebrity Rehab.
 
Kind of surpassed the syllable limit on that last one.
 
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