Sunday, January 20, 2008

 

The Product of the High Quantity!


Back in December, I suggested a trip to El Paso dollar stores for unusual gift items. This week, I was able to check them out myself, and they were everything I hoped for and more. There appears to be some kind of China-to-El Paso pipeline for 4th-rate toys which bypasses the rest of the country for some reason.

My best find was this toy fuel-hauling truck, which inexplicably says "To wart the cockles of one's heart." (You can click on the photo to get a bigger picture of the truck in all of its glory). The idea of heart warts is kind of disgusting, but I imagine such things might be caused by exposure to fuel vapors, right?

The bottom of the package was no less compelling. It identifies the truck as "Conveyance Good Hand," and offers us the following superlatives:

"The product of the high quantity!"
"All styles is all astonishing!" [I'm sure this is true, actually]
"SPEED TRUCK LUXURIOUS PACKAGING"
"SIMULATING THE TRUE STYLES"



Perhaps most intriguing of all is the back of this fascinating vehicle. Not only does it offer up the odd combination of phrases "Good luck/no smoking," but identifies this fuel hauler as "Fire Engine 648." It certainly would make life more exciting if fire engines (which tend to go near open flames) were chock full of flammable liquids!


Comments:
Ah, the dangerous of the Chinese/English English/Chinese dictionary in the (good) hands of someone who knows a limited amount about either language. Priceless, even at a dollar.
 
Yes . . . I wish I had pictures of all the backs of trucks I saw in India, with the sayings painted on them. (Creative English is also a result of colonialism, in the case of India.) The most common one was "Horn OK Please." It meant you were supposed to blow your horn if you wanted to pass.
 
That's the worst idea for a fire truck I have ever seen.
 
I have always thought that there is a market for Americans/British/etc. in non-English speaking countries to "help" fix these potential sales and marketing nightmares. I remember the English language assembly sheets my Mexican staff used to create for our products back when I lived south of the border. Scary and priceless, all at the same time.
 
"Hairplug Henry?"
 
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