Osler's Razor

A few days ago, I passed along the surprising news that kids really don't like clowns. It took me a while to digest that news, since, like every other adult, I had long thought that kids loved clowns. Not that we ever asked them... but who wouldn't like an overweight adult with too much make-up?

It made me wonder about the reverse question: Do clowns like kids? It's hard to tell, since most of the time clowns are pulling stuff out of their ear or making balloon animals instead of talking honestly about their feelings. Could it be that we just never asked?

I got in touch with two Detroit-area clowns, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope (pictured above), whom I had hired to entertain at my nephew's 2-year-old birthday party. Their answers surprised me! It turns out that some clowns, at least, not only aren't fond of kids, but of the kids' parents, too. Here is what Violent J had to say about one large family he knows (he put his feelings into a little "rap" song he wrote himself): "#%#^& back up 'cause your dimmin my shine, you got nine kids, only two of them mine. I get you cigarettes, weed, Pampers, And Similac, start giving back, $%&# hittin that.... Every time I'm with you, I'm smelling nothing but baby poop. You got WIC food stamps, and ADC, why you still %$^&# with me?"

I'll admit that perhaps Detroit's clowns have had it a little harder than most, but this does seem to be a foul attitude toward's America's families! Can we even trust our children with clowns anymore?