Friday, January 11, 2008

 

It's Haiku Time Again!


Friday, the first week back after break-- if you're like me, your brain is still a little foggy. Fortunately, that's good enough for haiku! Here are this week's themes:

1) Big Trial disasters
2) The worst movie ever made
3) Broken car
4) Swanburg's return
5) Taco Bell, 1 am
6) Cowboys v. Giants
7) Off-Season Santa
8) The Medievalist's Sandwish
9) New Hampshire adventures
10) Pets

Here is mine:

Sister Act Two, with
A drunk projectionist, who
Forgot the third reel.

Now it's your turn--

Comments:
Projectionist drunk?
Why would you see Sis Act II
Sure it was not you?
 
Splitting Heirs was worse
Eric Idle, Rick Moranis
But truly dreadful
 
Yes, I know the second line has 8 syllables. So what?

I never win anyway and you stopped giving out prizes a long time ago.
 
Second line, IP
Is exactly seven, yeah!
Prizes should be giv'n?
 
Off-season Satan,
Turned his bright fires down
Takin' it easy!
 
I stopped writing these
When you stopped giving prizes.
The masses want bribes.

On topic:

The only movie
I've walked out on: Bad News Bears,
Billy Bob's version.

At one, the Bell is
Just a landmark on the way
To Whataburger.
 
Maybe not the worst
But "The Holiday" was dreck
A total "chick flick"
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
I love my ride, but
Damn car has no cupholders
Coffee in my lap.

Ishtar. That was bad.
I walked out. Others did too.
The critics were right.

Off season Santa
Buys birthday presents and such.
Kids are expensive.
 
Simpson Hernandez
1 2 3 4 5 6 sev -
en. donde esta?
 
Starbucks, 9 A.M.
Full of blondes, party dresses
Baylor, I love you!
 
Mr. Freeze teams
With Poison Ivy Uma
Batman & Robin
 
Fat Kenny, tell me--
Which Starbucks was that? I think
I might head that way...
 
CM/ECF
makes me look like sorcerer
partners grunt, content
 
Poor IPLawGuy
Crying in the snow, '08;
No, wait, that's Muskie.
 
Choir trips are hell
With best friends in the bathroom
And J. Lo on screen
 
Oh no! Forgot to
Subpeona a witness; that
Was a big problem.

But the other side
Forgot to file medical
Affidavit - oops.
 
Ok this is not a haiku but I just HAVE TO tell the Razor this:

I am the alumni class secretary for my grad class at my high school Cranbrook Kingswood. Mitt Romney went there too, and the class sec for his class (1965 I think) emailed all of the other years' class secs and get this: Asked for all of our classmates email addresses....

Scary huh? He got our emails from the alumni magazine. So then the Alumni office sent out an email saying they were not the source of the addresses and that this was inappropriate.....

Yikes. Osler might delete this post I do not know what rules of his it may violate or if it will, but I thought since the Razor is on the cutting edge for Primary Coverage, I needed to report this....
 
Mitt hunted down Tyd!
But she will vote for Ron Paul.
He's the zestiest.
 
Ishtar got bad rap.
Its my FAV. I love the songs.
Truly inspired.

worst movie for me
Lord of the Rings. All those short
odd voiced weird hobbits.

AND it went on for
like four hours. I thought I would
not live through it. UGH.

Bill loved it. But I
never read books, don't care 'bout
elves.... Twas nightmarish.

Many other realllllllly bad
films: Waterworld, AKA
"Fishtar" ha ha ha.

Sorry to offend
all you LOTR Fans.
I just don't get it.

Elves, hobbits, dwarves with
high weird voices. What does this
have to do with ring?
 
Ron Paul: Who is that
guy? I see his lawn signs ALL
OVER OREGON!
 
Not a haiku...

Where's Professor Simpson? I read on frommalibutowaco that Professor Simpson's name was removed from the faculty list and that she's gone from the law school. What's up?
 
Romo Titanic,
Girlfriend in Cabo necking,
Ishtar Cowboy Fan.
 
"Earth Girls are Easy,"
Jeff Goldblum. Walked out at last,
Date didn't like it.
 
Tradelawguy, I thought
You rode bicycle to work
has bottle cage, right?
 
Correction: I DO
read books. Just not the Lord Of
The Rings books.

Let's talk about Bad
dogs. Beagle Missy sucks. Gets
in garbage DAILY

NEVER, EVER GET
A BEAGLE! SO CUTE, SO BAD.
They're also stinky.

They follow their nose,
right into trouble. DO NOT
listen, they smell bad.

SO very cute, you
say. Awww. STOP! Do not be fooled!
Beagles worst dawgs. BAD.
 
PS I saw The
Holiday. Sleepy correct.
It was pretty bad.

You know what is cool?
Netflix. You can even watch
their movies online. (for free)
 
Swanburg coming back?
Not true-- he is rumored
To be on the lam.
 
Cowboys and Giants
A titanic struggle, yes?
Cursed Jessica!
 
Swanburg's faculty
Haikus bore us all. Come on,
Swanburg, ditch Biz Skool!
 
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