Thursday, October 11, 2007
Now accepting nominations for the Slaybaugh/Hoelscher Lifetime Achievement Award as a PC Witness!
It's time to kick off this year's election of a new lifetime achievement award for PC witnesses! The award is named for former students Slaybaugh and Hoelscher, both of whom excelled as witnesses. Interestingly, both of them gave top performances in the role of Rock Harris, the male stripper/coke dealer/diamond merchant/seducer of middle-aged divorcees. (Mr. Hoelscher's classis line on cross-examination: "No ma'am, I wouldn't do that. I draw the line at pimping."). So, nominate away in the comments section below-- and please make a note of any particular talents your nominee has exhibited (ie, "Mr. Slaybaugh, in the role of Dr. Green, made picking up teen runaways in the "Combat Zone" seem eminently reasonable.")
Comments:
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I think I need to nominate myself, based on my skills as a witness, and the fact that I've witnessed about almost 20 times now between mini-trials and big trials.
I began witnessing in my 3rd quarter and have been doing it ever since (i'm in quarter #10 at the moment). I even witnessed for a friend while I was in PC. And unlike some others, I don't charge money to be a witness, I just do it out of the love of perfecting my craft.
Besides, you saw me flawlessly portray a dirty politican yesterday. There is no current BLS student who can compete with me.
I began witnessing in my 3rd quarter and have been doing it ever since (i'm in quarter #10 at the moment). I even witnessed for a friend while I was in PC. And unlike some others, I don't charge money to be a witness, I just do it out of the love of perfecting my craft.
Besides, you saw me flawlessly portray a dirty politican yesterday. There is no current BLS student who can compete with me.
# posted by 
: 3:14 PM
: 3:14 PM
Holscher was the best, hands down. And if he is out there doing defense work, there's a defendant in north Texas this week that could have used his help. Watching the defense attorney, I was reminded of (1) a patron at a Vegas buffet who couldn't make up his mind . . . "I'll try the veal! . . . no, maybe a grill cheese! . . . umm, would you buy an omlette? an apple turnover? . . . Vanna, can I buy a vowel?" and (2) Jeffy from the comic strip, The Family Circus - you know the ones - where he wanders all over the neighborhood, never landing in one place for more than a couple of seconds, on his way to . . . nowhere.
Holscher, where are you?
Holscher, where are you?
Yes, but as a dirty politician, you went to jail. Perhaps we need a witness who doesn't end up in the pokey (though I think I hold the record for shortest deliberation to get the maximum sentence).
I nominate Mutnick. He is the current Svengali of the stand. Just try to impeach him. I dare you.
I nominate Mutnick. He is the current Svengali of the stand. Just try to impeach him. I dare you.
I remember one time, Hoelscher effected a spur of the moment French accent to his performance in the courtroom. It was a little unnerving in that he failed to mention it to us before his performance but that is the only time I can remember someone making Powell lose his great composure. He just started laughing and his shoulders just wouldn't stop shaking. You're the best Hoelscher . . . even with your french accent!!
# posted by : 8:14 PM
: 8:14 PM
I nominate Hoelscher. I think we should just dispense with this yearly "lifetime achievement in witnessing" thing and just declare Hoelscher "Best PC witness ever!" I can't imagine this year's winner's disappointment when he learns that he's standing in the shadow of the master. It really is for the best. Think of the children.
Love,
Matt
Love,
Matt
# posted by : 10:46 PM
: 10:46 PM
So, we have one self-nomination (though he was very good), and everyone else just thinks I should award it to Hoelscher every year?
Holscher should have the lifetime achievement award and a recurring annual winner for the 'Holscher Award' - given to a current student in their final or next-to-last quarter, since there will frequently be a person who excels in effectiveness and/or effort and participation. Think back on Jegermanis - most effective and always willing.
And speaking of Holscher (since everyone is) . . . where is he now and what does he think of all the acclaim?
p.s. got a better picture?
And speaking of Holscher (since everyone is) . . . where is he now and what does he think of all the acclaim?
p.s. got a better picture?
# posted by : 10:33 AM
: 10:33 AM
From what I understand, Joe Hoelscher is working on a secret weapons secret project at an undisclosed location.
# posted by : 10:47 AM
: 10:47 AM
Joe is the best, bar none.
When he is with you in your courtroom, you are the Prima Ballerina to his Baryshnikov. If he is against you...save yourself, just pass the witness.
When he is with you in your courtroom, you are the Prima Ballerina to his Baryshnikov. If he is against you...save yourself, just pass the witness.
I just saw this for the first time. I had to Google myself to see about media coverage on a case (nobody important has noticed it, yet, thankfully). This was a hilarious blast from the past. Thanks for the kind words, uh, seven years ago. Peace, y'all, and good luck on the front lines.
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