Osler's Razor

The UnaGordon
A destroyer of sea life
Big man in little car.
 

black lace pants I had
a pointed hat I procured
a witch ready made
 

Arbitration suck'd
I bumbled around dumbly
A very bad day.
 

Unabomber, Huh?
More Like a bad Eminem
Osler Rapping, Laugh.
 

the bomb only counts
if it is made of cheeses
taken from the woods
 

Red Sox in '04
PC---the evil empire
I became a fan
 

Layabout Rockies
What did they do for eight days?
Not enough, I guess.
 

I love Tootsie Rolls!
Can chew them forever, too--
Halloween value.
 

RedSox Nation, Yuck!
Carbon copy of Yankees
Obnoxious fans

No plastic pumpkin.
To collect the most goodies,
Giant pillowcase.
 

Yesterday I saw
A perfect little Yoda
Very cute, she was!
 

Potato hanging
from my crotch...it's halloween!!
I'm a dictator!!!

Baylor...quarterbacks???
You must have us confused with
a real football team.
 

I once was dressed
As Monty Python's Eric Idle
No one got it, though.
 

RRL, my friend-
Were you at Scruffy's last week
For "The Incident?"
 

A Butterfinger.
A cool wind blows over my scalp,
Fall, both trick and treat.
 

Don't give me raisins!
Halloween isn't about health
Give me chocolate!
 

My mohawk skinhead
Bought it twenty years ago
Still a great costume
 

Professor miller
Wore Executioner hood
‘fore bizorg exam
 

IPLawPerson
I always thought that mohawk
Was your real hairdo!
 

I missed it, sadly...
how many more times will you
see that in your life?

Then again, it is
Scruffys...so it is likely
to happen again.
 

Once dressed as a girl
It was educational
Groped repeatedly
 

Oh Sleepy Walleye,
the gropee, or the goper,
curious yellow?
 

8Th Grade. Brownell. Best
friend Nancy was car. I was
a boat. HUGE costumes.

Spent weeks in garage
painting big cardboard boat, car.
Car's candy? In trunk!!!

Her wheels? 45s
with glitter. My boat was the
S.S. Burrows - HA!

We were 14. Last
time toTrick,Treat.Wethought:"Let's
go out with a bang."

Nancy & I met
in Brownies, '71.
We're Still friends today.

She's in Chicago
Me: Oregon. Talk a LOT.
My Maid of Honor.

Amazing Friendship.
She's Hilarious. Jebozz
knows her. BFF.

Friendship is awesome
but takes work: Keep in touch,hard!
But most precious gift.

Hard to admit this
now, but here goes: I had a
HUGE crush on Jebozz.

He was cute, but was
also hilariously
funny. ME: Nerd Girl.

But Boo Hoo, Jebozz
picked "M. C." I was sad then.
Lost my Will. To live.

Not really, but I
never got it. Me: Dork - yes.
Her: She was so WEIRD.
 

Oregano! Eff
Yeah! Put Weed in as QB,
Yeah! Oreganooooooooo!!!!!!
 

Candy corn's the best,
Or is it corn candy? Called
it both, but love it.

They don't have it here;
The things you miss are strange, like
Leaves in a huge pile.
 

Next year, Osler can
Be the Baylor quarterback:
Poodle, bow, pink Crocs.
 

Tyd--

C.M. or M.C.?
C.M. is now a star, both
Radio and on film.
 

NO I know who you mean.. Chrissy M maried Greg Germann,a guy who was in Allie McBeal. She is in movies and sings and lives in Hollywood with her husband and family. I am not sure if Jebozz ever dated her. I know they knew each other, as they went to Barnes together. Maybe HE liked HER, but then, EVERYONE liked her. She was the sweetest funniest person.

I was talking abotu MC, this weird weird girl that Jebozz went out with at Brownell. Marianne C. I could NOT understand what the deal with that was. But even if MC never existed, I would never have had a chance with Jebozz.. I was a TOTAL nerdgirl, I was goofy looking and really prissy, and weird and pretty much invisible to him. Still, Jebozz was the only person I really liked for like, YEARS, until 11th grade at Cranbrook, and then college.
How sad is that??? A crush that lasts FOUR YEARS. Then I saw him in college getting gas, and we talked for a minute. He said he was going to Earlham. I was at Beloit. At that time I remember thinking that WOW maybe he and I had more in common that I thought, since we both picked like the EXACT type of goofy hippie weird Midwestern small Liberal arts college...

But then, I was even goofier looking by then, walking around the world as if I had fallen out of a Bergman film. And also by that time I was deep into a five year thing with the Concave Chest, which of course was DOOMED.

Then I did not think of him again until like LAST YEAR!!!! And then I found you instead, when I wondered if he ever actually did anything with his drum thing.

Anyway, a hundred years later, he is happy, I hope, and I am happy, and I am sure his wife is pretty and smart and funny and nice.

I guess it is all for the best, as if I had married jebozz, I would have had to go to that place with you guys every August, and live off the land you know and I am pretty sure I would have had a nervous breakdown doing that. I cannot stand anything like bugs or dirt or like dead fish or any of that stuff. Though I did go to 11 years of summer camp and I am great at canoeing...
 

Halloween changes
Now that I am old, new goal:
Scare kids at the door!