Tuesday, September 04, 2007

 

Driving Eccentricities of the American States


As previously reported, I did a lot of driving this summer, all over the country. Based on that experience, I can not only say that there are a lot of bad drivers everywhere, but that particular types of bad driving seem to be locally popular in some places but not others. To wit:

Oklahoma: It appears that in Oklahoma, people are taught in driver's ed. that proper highway procedure is to lodge yourself in the left (passing) lane, set the cruise control to 57 mph, and stay there. Grrrrr.

Virginia: Rocket along at top speed, preferably while smoking, eating, and talking on a cell phone if you want to fit in while driving Virginia's scenic byways. Fortunately, at least in the DC suburbs, the "top speed" is about 12 mph due to traffic congestion. [Note: IPLawGuy doesn't do this. He is very safe. IPLawBaby would, though, if she got a chance]

Michigan: Weave from lane to lane. Throw empty Capt. Morgan bottles out window while approaching a bridge. Festoon car with obscene bumper stickers.

Minnesota: Actually, they are pretty good drivers. If anything, they can show too much deference to one another-- they will sit at a four-way stop for several minutes, all waving the others to go through first.

UPDATE: New photo shows IPLawBaby breaking several traffic laws.

Comments:
Wellllll, Iplawbaby and I were pulled over the other night heading home from a Nationals game. It was late, it was dark and my bladder was full. I managed to shove Iplawbaby back into the carseat before the State Trooper got to my window.

He let me off because I told him I was in a hurry to get home and use the bathrooom.
 
So, IPLawBaby was driving the car?
 
Of course not... that'd be wholly irresponsible.

iplawbaby was probably holding Daddy's beverage so HE could drive
 
I've heard IPLawGuy drinks his bourbon out of a sippy cup, so that all fits...
 
Be careful iplawguy...20+ over the limit in VA is a reckless, and reckless = time in the pokey. No, I do not have personal experience.
 
Yeah, you don't want to get caught reckless driving in Virginia unless you have a trust fund. Those new fines are outrageous.
 
Particularly hilarious is that the new 1,000 dollar Virginia speeding tickets only apply to Virginians - never happier to live in Maryland than hearing about those.
 
Iplawbaby and I were pretty ticked off at these new fines, being of the libertarian persuasaion ourselves. (Iplawbaby HATES wearing shoes and socks and being strapped into carseat restraints and opposes most market restraints as well).

These new fines were not imposed to improve road safety, they're pure revenue raisers, plain and simple. The General Assembly doesn't have the will to a) cut spending, or b) raise taxes, so it looked for other ways to grab money from Virginians. And the Governor went along so as not to get into a fight with the Gen. Assembly.

IPlawbaby suggests fining anyone who suggests that she shouldn't be able to open cupboard doors and bang on pots and pans to her heart's content.

I've never been charged with reckless. I have gotten a couple tix for doing "74" in a 55 mph zone, however.

No sippy cup bourbon for me, Thank You. Good brown liquor should only be consumed from a fine glass or preferably crystal tumbler.

Besides, it's summer (until Sept. 21 or thereabouts, despite Labor Day), so it's Gin & Tonic season for me. Iplawbaby is learning to cut limes quite nicely.
 
One thing you learn from living just under the Red River: okies can't drive.
 
I honestly believe Pennsylvania's license plates should read: "We Can't Merge in Pennsylvania."

Everywhere you go, there are cars parked on exit ramps, unable to step on the gas and merge with the highway traffic.

Well, that and lots of construction.
 
as a grad-ye-ate of an oklahoma public skool, i's can confirm we's taught that way in driver's ed.

Other highlights included learning to parallel park between 2 rocks and learning the difference between driving the farm truck and a street legal vehicle!

Go Sooners!
 
Nah you were here first, Go 'head...
I'm not in a hurry. You go on. ahead... Yooo Betcha..."

Ithink it is terrible when municipalities raise stupid fines and stuff just to raise revenue...
just like the no parking on the street overnight in the oppressive fascist state of Grosse Pointe Woods. However, I would much rather pay a few fines than drive over pot holes on I -94 in Michigan that are big enough to swallow a freighter... I mean, I know the county is responsible for the roads in Wayne County, but I am not sure what Ed McNamara or whoever is in charge these days does with the cash. He does NOT use it to fix the freeways.

Also Michigan has NO weight limits as far as heavy trucks driving on the roads... and these tear up the roads as well. However they DO have one thing I miss and that is the 10 cent bottle deposit.
 
In Arkansas, proper road etiquette depends on several factors:

1. Age and gender of the other driver: Little old ladies can do whatever they please and the only acceptable response is "Bless her heart", which will be immediately followed by "the poor dear can't see/can't hear/doesn't realize she's driving 35 in the wrong lane of traffic with her turn signal on."

2. Size of the other vehicle: At a four way stop, the order of who goes first is simply biggest to smallest. If there is an issue between two vehicles, then it is settled by how loud the music is played and whether one band outranks the other in the great southern pantheon. For example, Haggard will trump the Georgia Satellites, but Skynyrd trumps all. The music rules are very very complex.

3. Event: If you don't pull over for a funeral procession AND remove your hat (and in most cases exit your vehicle and stand solemnly on the side of the road) you can, and most likely will, be shot.
 
In northern Minnesota, in a construction zone where traffic was reduced to one lane, I honestly saw this sign: Take turns. And the weird thing was, everyone was doing it.
 
that baby is ADORABLE
 
As a holder of three different state driver's licenses (Texas, North Carolina and Minn-e-so-ta), I must agree with the assessment of Minnesotans and their driving abilities. Minnesota Nice (or Minnesota Ice, depending on your perspective) is an integral part of the driving experience. We're safe drivers all... of... the... time.

As such, I can say that I have been yelled at by a passenger for being passed on both sides while doing 65 in a 60 (5 MPH over the posted speed limit mind you) on a Dallas expressway.

Texas drivers, in my opinion, are some of the worst ever. None of them stay the appropriate car length back, none of them signal when changing lanes, they all pass in the right hand lane, and I'm sure all of them add 20 to the posted speed limit.
 
North Carolina is a NASCAR state where it is perfectly acceptable to draft off the car in front of you. If you bump into the car in front of you .. well... "That's Racin'"

Minnesota's Twin Cities are cursed with lots of left-lane exit ramps which means lots of confusion over appropriate passing lanes.
We also have bridges that plunge into the Mississippi on occasion.

Fortunately its one of the best urban areas for bicycle commuting.
 
Osler commented on the top speed in the DC suburbs being 12 mph. The truth is more like 21 mph, or at least that's what my car's computer tells me every 350 miles when I fill up. I do miss my daily Austin to Waco commute for law school - 90 minutes to cover 100 miles each way. Here, my 15 mile commute to work takes me from 60-90 minutes. Sigh...
 
Don't any of these cites have like good public transportation? I would really use it if I lived somewhere NOT out in the boonies.

That baby does not look like a speed demon, She looks like a FLorida driver. its the hat. Florida drivers are THE WORST I think. Terrible. `
 
The large black blur that just passed you up on the left? Yeah, that was me, late for something as usual. The only person on the road scarier than me: the CL. (but he's so fun, cute & kind, it's forgivable)

Both the smallest CL kids seem to know if we're are actually headed to Target, or if I've tried to work in some additional errand before we hit the big red bull's eye. Odd how fast that happens.
 
MRS CL
WHAT is better than TARGET???

You get popcorn and a drink for 99 cents and a chance to spill it alll over the store while chasing your toddler around and trying to keep him from hiding in the women's lingerie racks.

They always have great deals on Undies and socks and kids clothes, and most importantly, shampoo and snacks. Plus that nutty isaac Mizrahi...What else do you need in life, really?
 
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