Thursday, June 14, 2007

 

"Right now I'm in law school, but someday I hope to be a stripper or a pro wrestler!"


Right now in practice court we are having jury selection exercises. Second quarter students play the role of jurors, and get to make up a persona to impersonate. It's kind of like halloween. By far the favorite persona in stripper, for both men and women, though we have also seen Jack Bauer, professional wrestlers, a transient devil worshipper, and many professional singers. Every year, at least a few people choose to portray D list celebrities who are dead, which creates some problems.

Sadly, no one has ever chosen to be Rink Allegro, actor and star of "Firestorm IV: Escape from Explodar City," from the White Collar Crime final a few years ago.

Baylor Law people-- what was your favorite persona?

Comments:
OOOH! I'm not BU law, but would without a doubt pick Samantha from Bewitched.

1) All of your chores, errands, cooking when you don't want to, etc.. are done with a twitch.

2) She always looked cute

3) Very entertaining family members

4) The whole time travel gig

5) Paging Dr. Bombay!

6) Catchy theme music

7) Endless reruns on TVLand, hello royalties!

8) Evil twin "cousin" to blame things on

The only real downside is that dork Derwood (both of them) and Mrs. Cravitz.

Sorry, I know that the fact I love that show so much is totally predictable, but I can't help it. It gives me warm fuzzies!
 
Eric Nordstrom as "Paint-huffing guy." But he was the lawyer, not a juror...
 
I have to vote for Chicago as Joe Sixpack, a day laborer and husband to Luann, an injured former Whataburger employee.
 
I chose to take the role of my grandpa, but took great liberties to play him as a grumpy, former professor from Texas Tech university with very stong opinions that are never incorrect. The last name was Ickes, pronounced I (like "it") - kess. Since I had an opinion on everything, I butted-in quite a bit. One of the attorneys kept pronouncing the name wrong, either eye--keys or is-kess, or some permutation of the pronunciation. Since I was grumpy, I kept correcting him.

Eventually, Professor Underword threatened, "Counselor, if you pronounce his name incorrectly one more time, then you will fail PC2."

I never raised my hand again.
 
Brad Pierce played his grandpa, Captain Billy Bob. That's his real name, Captain Billy. The character seemed straight out of a movie or comic book. But the best part--it was all true.
 
Definitely Timothy ("Crotch") Hurley, a former pro baseball player who now is addicted to meth. I forgot who played that one, but he claimed to have slept with the female attorney, a claim he substantiated by describing certain tattoos she had in non-public areas.

Struck for cause.
 
I am not a Baylor Law person But I DID escape from Exploder City.

I would be a figure skater who is an Olympic hopeful. Then I would try to get out of jury duty with the excue that I have work on my triple toe loop.
 
I would be an entertainment report on the E! network! I love that network! I also love Bjork, sporks, and anything by Matisse!
 
Um, actually Bjork makes my toes curl.

Nice try Mr. or Ms. Doppleganger. I don't give a darn about sporks. Matisse is OK, but I prefer Van Gogh.
 
A fake ILPLawGuy? Huh. I guess, in a weird way, that kind of fits the original post about fake identities....

But, please, don't irritate IPLG!

And I can vouch for the fact that he doesn't watch the E! network.
 
Oh, and I ever watched the Entertainment Network in my life, it was by mistake and lasted for about 10 seconds. Sports, News, Southpark and the Simpsons are about all I watch on TV.
 
Tie them both down and play Genesis or King Crimson. The first to scream in pain and beg for death is the real IPLG.

My favorite character was my own second quarter effort. I was a mother of nine children, all lovingly named after obscure Walt Disney characters. I was a geneticist (like my mom) and my husband was a stay at home dad who had been a painter, but had artist's block. I had a friend with a brain tumor, (this was true) and it was a med mal case...I should have been an easy strike for the Defense or the Plaintiff.

No one on the panel was talking, so I obliged. Prof Osler was presiding and showed the Plaintiff how to shut up a chatty juror (me) and PC was kind of fun, until the Defense asked me "but what does you husband DO?" for the third time. (They were wasting time on me, I had already given them enough to strike me). I answered, "He bowls all day and night, I can't stand it." I thought that I would then be left alone, but the Professor himself took over asking "Do you have something against bowling?" in a VERY intimidating fashion. I meekly said, "Uh, no". The defense then forgot to strike me and lost points. I still feel horrible about that.

I was later told that Osler was in a bowling league. (To this day I do not know if that is true or if the Prof had just had enough of my character.) But I was intimidated by the Professor until I had him for PR. (To his credit MANY people told me my fear was ridiculous). However, believe me, when Osler lays it down- watch out!
 
Uh... that was you? I remember that-- I'm pretty sure I was kidding, but maybe that didn't come through...
 
My favorite was a stripper, but what made it superior was how she managed to say "my baby-daddy" at least a dozen times.
 
If you've ever seen him bowl, you wouldn't be intimidated.
 
This was my favorite - During my voir dire exercise, I had a juror (female) who told me that she knew my client's wife in college and had "experimented" with her on numerous occassions. She also claimed to still have a relationship with my client's wife, especially when my client was out of town.
 
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