Osler's Razor

I received the following today from commenter iHarryPotter. Hmmmm. Curious...:

Thanks, Mark. Being a foreign exchange student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I have been able to get the opinion of many on the new film and book.

I'm sad to say that Osler's Razor is inaccurate in it's definition of the film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. He is correct in his definition, but is unaware that the storyline involving ASU, Voldemort, and a particular nod to a comic strip not carried in the Daily Prophet is a subplot. The main plot revolves around Fawkes the Phoenix's plan for a rebellion on Kirk Fredrick Carnot, owner of KFC, who has found fried Phoenix to be quite tasty, hence the name.

Last week, when I was visiting Liverpool and it's infamous Pool of Livers (built in 1554 to distract Muggles from some 239 dragons roaming around town), I ran into the Weasleys. I attempted to conduct an interview. Arthur Weasley was too busy talking about "fellytones", Fred and Geofrge were feeding a Ton-Toungue Toffee to a gecko, and so on. Finally, I got Ginny to speak, who responded, "It is great being a celebrity! I love the aeroplanes where they give you pasties and nougats in different flavours and wipe your bogies! It's so extraordinary! you'd be mad not to go on an aeroplane!" Molly Weasley declined to comment on her daughter's statement.

When asked about the significant liberties taken from the book in the film, Mrs. Rowling declined to comment. Her guard, however, responded, "Get away, or I'll set the gnomes on you!". All in all, it was a successful interview.

My sources have prrovided me with the following information for the book:
Odds of characters dying: Harry, 1/256,000,000; Voldemort, 6/7; Ron, 1/568,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Hermionie, 1/ 135,000,000,000,000,000,000; Snape, 1/1; Neville, the chance of him dying is low, because he bounces, but cannot be accurately scored; Luna, 1/45; Draco, 1/11; and finally, Umbridge, 1/1
-iHarryPotter, the inventor of the Swirlie Charm