Wednesday, March 28, 2007

 

If you own a business in Metro Portland, and do not care for the Seven Habits, please hire Tydwbleach!

According to a recent comment, Razor Celebrity Tydwbleach has quit the "Nerd Patrol" and is now available for employment. If I were you, I would hire her. She seems to have some special powers, including the ability to cause flocks of 3-year-olds to do her will.

Comments:
If she's a celebrity, does CL love her?
 
Yes, CL does love Tyd; however, the love is most appropriately classified as amor platonicus which, as we all know, was first coined in the 15th century by the Florentine scholar Marsilio Fisino. Amor platonicus is a love focused on a person's character and intelligence as opposed to one's physical charms. Unlike Osler, Tyd has opted to remain photographically anonymous so my love must only exist as admiration for her witty oslerisms. Plus, there is the small matter of my limerent object, Mrs. CL, whose unstated preference is that I reserve all other types of love with the exception of agape love for her.
 
Have you ever used the word "limerent" in an opinion?
 
IPLaw, I have not had the pleasure of using limerent in an opinion; however, I suppose the limerent object most desired which leads people to my court would be methamphetamine. So, the potential exists. If I query the word in Westlaw and get no hits, I will correct the problem as soon as possible. Thank you for the question and the suggestion!
 
Are we really going to "Hooters?"
 
Please see new post under "Single Worst Answer in History of Practice Court" for your answer!
 
A dining establishment founded in 1983 in Clearwater, Florida will soon have the host of this blog as their new customer. Celebrity Luvr has the pleasure of introducing him to the culinary pleasures of this establishment on Friday. Our hope is to post a photo of the blog host with Hooter the Owl sometime in the near future. Will he go mild, medium, hot, 3 mile island, cajun or samurai? Please join us at 11:45 a.m. on Friday. All are welcome!! P.S. I just wanted to see how long this post would stay on the blog before it was deleted.

8:57 PM
 
OK I am grossed out and I am going out of my mind now.

The birthday party is on Saturday. My mother in law has washed, as I predicted she would, anything that is not moving and will fit into my Kenmore washer. Including my LINEN skirt that I had planned to wear to an interview. SO MUCH FOR THAT.

My father in law used tape to fix the water heater, is spackling and caulking like a maniac, and at dinner tonight he declared that the frozen, bland vegetable lasagna from costco was "too spicy and is burning a hole in my stomach." He then rose from the table, walked to the fridge (one of the few working appliances in the non working kitchen) and put all of the following in to a bowl and ate it:

Cottage Cheese
like at LEAST 1 cup of MAYONNAISE
frozen blueberries.

He drank Ovaltine to wash it down.

HE puts mayonnaise on EVERYTHING, including cottage cheese, all fish, all vegetables, you get the idea. AND he goes thru like a HUGE Costco sized drum of it in one week. His Cholesterol level is like MINUS 15, he is healthy as a horse and cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

Between the laundry, the paint fumes, the mayonnaise, the spackling, the impending birthday party with 13 three year olds and all of these stupid job interviews starting up again, I may just have to I dunno what. Shave my head and ck into a rehab.

The saddest part of all of this is I am without my number one coping mechanism - making soup, because I cannot find my crock pot. It is buried behind some not-yet-put together patio furniture and a small three year old's Not Yet Assembled Superman bike, which is the B day present we have been desperately hiding from him because he is FINALLLY ready to lose the tricycle and do a big boy bike.

All Week we have been SPELLING things much more than usual... you know that parental spelling thing...
"Well when are we going to go get the B- I - K - E? Because the P-A-R-T-Y is in three days and we need time to put it together.... Remember how much trouble we had assembling the J-E-E-P? IT took us three days."

Yes Spencer not only has light up shoes - (one of the things I said I would never do as a parent) but he also watches some TV, watches videos in the back of the van, AND... has one of those electric Jeeps that he drives all around the neighborhood. What can I say? I am a sell out.

BUT at least SPencer's Jeep is BLUE. His little friend Austin has three older sisters and a Dad that is a bit thrifty. He refuses to buy Austin a new Jeep, and thus Austin drives a PINK AND SILVER BARBIE JEEP. Its hard to look cool in a Barbie Jeep. But like that song, "A Boy Named Sue," maybe it will make him tougher. We all have our cross to bear in life. I have a good life, seriously. I could just do with out the spackle and mayonnaise.
 
How can you go to Hooters in a town with a place like the Health Camp?
 
I think MRS. CL loves me more....
 
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