Thursday, March 22, 2007

 

High Desert High


I'm back out in West Texas, imparting wisdom, or, uh, something to members of the federal bar out here. My topic is how to withdraw from a case without getting sued or shot by your (former) client. It's a combination of legal tactics and mixed martial arts, basically. I call it Res Jitsu. For those of you I have abandoned back in Waco on a school day, sentencing exercises will be judged by a real judge instead of just me faking it. Good luck, guys. He's kind of an edgy, smart judge with a killer tan, and if you treat him right he will sell you off-brand clothing at a huge discount.

That last part is true (as is the first part). In fact, Margaret Chen walked in as The Judge was selling me a suit coat for $12 today, so she can vouch for me on this one.

At the moment (which is 1:36 am), I'm comfortably embedded in my fairly bizarre room at Alpine, Texas' goofiest hotel, which apparently has been toddling along since 1928. I love places like this.

Comments:
Mornin' Pawdner...I believe that $325 sportcoat (44-reg.) was in actuality shopped for & allowed for you to own for the 'can't be legal' price of $12 [w/o tax] by Ms. Brenda Smith [p-t fashion advisor]. Guess, feller, when yore in Judge Bean's "Law West of the Pecos" ya gotta be Sworn-In to be tellin' the truth !! ---
Ms. Brenda "Kitty"
 
Yankee Boy...you don't get out much. It is NOT "off-brand" clothing!!! I do have pride, you know, in the fashion shows I have from the trunk of my car. Be careful, "Hollywood Hair" you might not get to go another "Trunk Showing" again ! ---
Ms. Brenda "Channel"
 
"There's an elevator, by the way, instead of a bellman, so you can easily bring up your luggage and keep the tip, with our compliments."

Now that's funny! Reminds me of a place we stayed in in Durango, CO. It was a bizarre place with a gingerbread cottage right smack on the middle of the motel parking lot. When you checked in, you got a basket with some eggs, bread, milk, etc. They advertised it as a "Bed and Make-Your-Own-Damn-Breakfast."
 
Yes, I can vouch for the exchange. And the Judge offered the Prof. a complimentary gift. What a nice guy.
 
Thanks for backing me up, Mic.
 
Unfortunately, the complimentary gift (although lovely) was not accepted. Since the quality of last week's haiku was lacking, perhaps we can motivate the asipiring haiku masters by offering said gift as this week's haiku prize. What are your thoughts professor?
 
Works for me judge. But-- you still have to pick a winner tomorrow, 'k?
 
Killer tan, edgy, wearer of Quality Discount Clothing at Rock Bottom Prices....Yep, that's an accurate description. He's also a Thespian this week...playing a part in Inherit the Wind. Check it out...Waco Civic Theater
 
Excellent nightlife tip, Mrs. CL! I have only seen the judge in a brief performance of "Guy Dancing in Front of a Cabin" at Cotton Palace several years ago. He was excellent.
 
Well, well, well... today's the day! I've picked out about "4" even better outrageous offers for you at 6:00pm, BUT I'm not the fashion advisor you happened to hand over the $12-bucks to for the cloth on your back. I guess you won't be the "Pretty Boy" after all! B
 
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