Saturday, March 10, 2007

 

Hi! My name's Mark, and I'm stone cold lampin'!


Not really. But that wouldn't be a bad way to spend spring break- you know, me and Chuck D., up in the Poconos, campin'.

There was some excitement today, though. Swanburg made his first Practice Court appearance, as "The Messed-Up Doctor Who Gunned Down His Own Son During Monday Night Football So As To Avoid A Possibly Stressful Situation." He did a fine job, though he was far better dressed than almost any doctor I have ever seen. The case presents a real nest of unexplained and bizarre circumstances, none of which (apparently) seemed unusual to the lawyers involved. For example:

1) The doctor was worried he would have a heart attack if subjected to stress, so he shot his son. Uh, that's not a little stressful? Hmmmmm.

2) According to the lawyers in the case, in the Swanburg home, the preferred way for a few people to watch television is to set up two chairs about four feet from one another and facing directly towards the other person. It is unclear where the TV is situated in all this.

3) Also, a popular defense position in this case seems to be that the jury will excuse the killing of one's own children, if said children are getting all in your face with their stupid liberal political opinions.

At one point, Swanburg seemed particulary Doctorly as he pronounced "I make important decisions every day! That's what I do. I'm... a doctor."

Anyways, if anyone can get Swanburg's mom as a PC witness, I will be very impressed.

Comments:
Now, I think Practice Court would be a part of Law School I maybe would actually like!!!
 
PS What's lampin?
 
Tyd-
By saying he is stone, cold lampin, it means that he is "chillin" as in the temperature of a light that has not been turned on in a while. The term was popularized by Flavor Flav/Public Enemy in a song of the same name.
 
I am glad to hear my son was a good a PC witness. I will be in San Antonio from May 8th to 13th attending the Texas Dental Convention and could always make a side trip to Waco on the 14th for a court appearance.

I’m sure by his attire he was trained in Beverly Hills and was an associate of Anna Nicole’s Dr.

1. He was way over medicated - one or more of the drugs he was taking for his heart made him paranoid.

2. The seating arrangement was for conversation and viewing the 52 inch TV hung on the wall and could be watched from any direction. I’m sure the rotten kid teased him as his team was losing the game.

3. He must have been listening to Rush Limbaugh and considered anything his liberal child said as being anti American and threatening the core of his existence.

Have a great spring break.
 
Unless the testimony regards dentist stuff or medical gloves, I'd avoid using my mother as a witness. Her tendency to yell will make her unsympathetic to a jury.

As for the exercise itself, I was impressed with your commentary. For a guy with goofy hair and a blog, you know what you are talking about.
 
Actually, Mr. Swanburg, in some cases it would be GREAT to have a witness who yells. That would spice things up a little.

I kind of like doing the exercises, but I'm also feeling kind of burned out on them here in year 7 of spending so many afternoons and evenings in those courtrooms...
 
Celeb Luvr

Thank you so much for clearing that up. As you might have deduced from my previous posts, I do , in fact, live in a cave.
 
Celeb Luvr,

Uh, how and why do you know that?

I feel like such a white boy. I'm still trying to figure out the meaning behind "Brickhouse."
 
IP-- It means if you are built like a mastadon, you are mighty mighty.
 
if you thought my direct-cross exercise was full of surprises, stay tunned for my mini-trial, where ill have swanburg play the meth-head, gun-toting, bank robbing defendant and his mom can play his mother-in-law.
 
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